Not Like This
by xSlythStratasfaction
Summary: It wasn't supposed to be like this. Kurt was supposed to be in NYC living his dream, not rushing back to Ohio after a chilling phone call. Blaine was supposed to be finishing up his final year at McKinley, not unconscious in a hospital bed near death. SEASON FOUR AU
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Future chapters contain harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia.

* * *

**Thanksgiving Break ****– November 2012**

"I think we should take a break."

"You think we should what?"

"Take a break. Break-up," Kurt softly repeated, leaning up against the dresser as he fought not to lock eyes with his boyfriend. Blaine sat across from him on the guest bed, eyes glistening with unshed tears as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"You want to end this? Why, Kurt? What did I do? I didn't- I can't-"

"Blaine, it's not your fault. It's just- this distance… it's so hard. We never have time to talk anymore. You're always busy with glee and I've got auditions and homework and it's just not working anymore."

"But you- you said that-"

"Blaine, please don't make this any harder than it has to be. We can still be friends; I just can't do this anymore. It's too hard."

Blaine stood up, his hands flying up to his head as he tightly locked his fingers in his hair. "I can't believe you're breaking us up! …couldn't we just talk this over? We can work this out, Kurt! We've gotten through all kinds of shit; we can get through this!"

"It's just not that easy-"

"Maybe for you! God, Kurt, you're just springing this all on me now! After all that we did this week- did it mean anything to you? Was I just some quick and easy lay or something to you? If you were going to break it off, why did you even have me come over? Why'd you have sex with me? One last fling? Why did you even spend the week with me?"

"Please-"

Blaine started sobbing and with each cry, Kurt's heart broke a little bit more. He turned away, desperately trying to block out the sounds of Blaine's crying as he fought with his own emotions. He knew he was lying to himself when he said that they just didn't have the time anymore, but God, he had gotten so caught up with his new life in New York that sometimes Blaine got pushed to the side and it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Blaine and it wasn't fair to him either.

Sighing, he walked over to where Blaine was standing and placed his hands gently on the boy's shoulders; he flinched when he felt Blaine tense underneath his grasp, "Blaine-"

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

"It's not working, I already said that."

"Then tell me how to fix it. I can't screw this up, I just can't."

Kurt frowned, slowly curling his arms around Blaine and tugging the shorter boy against his chest, "You can't fix it. I'm sorry."

"NO!" Blaine shouted, yanking himself away from Kurt's arms. "I love you, Kurt! Don't you love me? I thought you said you'd wait for me!"

"I did and I will, but just as friends. It's for the best, Bla-"

"No, it's for the best for you! You said you'd never say goodbye to me-"

"And I'm not," Kurt protested, tears now falling freely down his own cheeks. This was not how he expected this to go; he thought things were going to be hard, but he never expected Blaine to break down this horribly.

"You are," Blaine cried, stumbling backwards towards the bedroom door. "You're saying goodbye and even though you think we can just be friends, it won't be that way. It'll never be the same again. This is just a goodbye! You're just like everyone else, Kurt; you're leaving me just like everyone else I've ever loved has."

"Blaine, no."

"I- I thought you were different, Kurt. I thought we had something. I thought we'd last. I-" he choked, "I thought you loved me as much I love you. I guess I was wrong."

Kurt reached an arm out, rushing forward to grab Blaine as the boy turned on his heel and ran down the hall. He stopped himself though when Blaine tore down the steps and carelessly threw on his coat and shoes.

"Blaine!" He heard his father call out. Burt stood up and walked out in the hall, his eyes darting back and forth between the crying boy before him and his son who stood silent and watery eyed on the stairs. "Blaine, are you-"

"Goodbye, Mr. Hummel. Thank you f-for a lovely dinner," Blaine whimpered, tugging his car keys out of his pockets. He opened the front door and stepped outside into the cold fall air. "Tell Carole I said thank you as well," he whispered as he ran down the sidewalk and hopped into his car, peeling out of the driveway within seconds of starting his car.

Up on the staircase, Kurt collapsed and wrapped his arms around his knees, sobbing over the relationship he just ended and the boy whose heart he just shattered.

* * *

A/N: Things are only gonna get more difficult from here. Just warning you all. Also, I know I have a million other WIPs out right now. I'm gonna try to work on those while I update this one. I just couldn't get anything written because this one had taken up all my plot bunnies. So don't fret, the other fics will be updated too (if you were a reader of my other works).


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. I do not own, nor am I associated with Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, _Chanel_, _Macy's_, or the _Gap_. I also do not own the song _Baby It's Cold Outside_.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This chapter contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia.

* * *

**Christmas Break - December 2012**

It hadn't yet been a month since Kurt had ended their relationship.

Christmas was coming up soon and all of Ohio was decorated with bright sparkly lights and festive wreaths; but even though everyone else seemed full of holiday cheer and the like, Blaine still felt like he was walking through quicksand, rapidly sinking without anyone to help save him. He walked alone through the Westerville Mall, a few bags swinging against his legs as he window shopped and browsed. Because he had spent so many weeks in a funk, he had completely forgotten to get any of his Christmas shopping done – and here it was, just a few days until Christmas and he didn't have gifts for anyone.

In fact, he probably wouldn't have even remembered getting anyone presents if it weren't for Tina, who came up to his locker just the day before with a beautifully wrapped box.

::

_"Merry Christmas," Tina whispered, hands holding out a glittery silver package topped with a blue (and equally bedazzled) bow. "I hope you like it."_

_"You got me a gift?"_

_"Well yeah, it's Christmastime and you're my best friend. That's what friends do, right? Exchange gifts at Christmas. Don't worry if you didn't get me anything, I know things have been rough since-" she trailed off, chewing on her lip when she saw Blaine's lower lip tremble. "Open it," she urged, quickly changing the subject. "Come on now, open your present!"_

_Blaine carefully unwrapped the box, tears filling his eyes when he saw what was inside. There, nestled in blue tissue paper lay a framed photo of himself and Tina; actually, it wasn't a photo, but a painting. He carefully lifted the picture from the box and smiled, "Did you paint this?"_

_"Yeah, it's not too ugly, is it? I've been taking art classes at the community center, you know, since Mike left and… well, that's the result."_

_Blaine stared down at the picture and sighed happily, gently setting the frame back in the box before he tugged Tina to his chest, "Thank you, Tina. It's beautiful. Thank you so much."_

_"I'm glad you like it. There's also something else in there," she said, reaching further into the tissue paper to pull out a tiny bowtie. "I hope you don't have this."_

_The little tie was white with tiny dancing gingerbread men on it. Blaine grinned when he saw it._

_"Nope, I definitely don't have this one. It's so cute! Thank you!"_

_"You're welcome." She pulled Blaine back into a hug and squeezed him close, "I hope you have a Merry Christmas."_

_"You too," Blaine said as he watched his friend take off down the hall to deliver a gift to Sugar. As soon as she was out of his sight, he whipped his phone out of his pocket and made a memo to himself to go out and get his Christmas shopping done before it was too late._

::

And so there he was, roaming around alone in a mall he knew oh too well (just bypassing the _Gap_ made him cringe in embarrassment), looking for gifts for his friends and family.

"Attention mall shoppers, the mall will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please bring all purchases to your respective store registers and have a safe trip home. Happy holidays!"

Blaine took a quick glance at his watch, eyes widening when he noticed how late it was. Sighing, he made his way to the final stop of his shopping spree: _Macy's_. He slipped inside, swimming through the crowd of people to the perfume counter. He sniffed a few fragrances and then stopped, a creepy chill going up his spine.

It sort of felt like he was being watched.

Setting the perfume down on the counter, he turned and looked behind him; he didn't see anything peculiar around, so he went about his business at the counter, jumping when a handsome young man slipped into his vision. "May I help you, sir?"

"Oh umm yeah," Blaine blushed. The salesman before him was super cute with dark perfectly coiffed locks and deep grey eyes; it took everything in his power to not bat his eyelashes at the guy - he was _that_ cute. "I'm looking for something for my mom."

"Oh, I would've expected you were shopping for a girlfriend-"

Blaine gnawed on his lip, his heart fluttering wildly in his chest as he struggled not to out himself in front of this man he didn't know.

"-or a boyfriend?" The man continued, his lips turning up in a smirk as he stared down at Blaine. Blaine flushed beneath his gaze and looked down at his shoes. If he didn't know any better, he would've thought this guy was flirting with him.

"Excuse me, that was impolite of me," the man said quietly, waiting for Blaine to once again meet his eyes. "I keep on getting in trouble with my supervisor for my big mouth. He'd die if he heard what I just said."

"It's alright," Blaine whispered.

"Are you sure? I didn't mean to offend. Sometimes I just say things without thinking and offend people-"

"I'm not offended," Blaine explained, the blush on his cheeks traveling further down his neck. "Even if I weren't gay, I wouldn't be offended."

"Oh, so you are into guys," the guy smiled. He batted his lashes a bit and stepped to the side of the counter. From what Blaine could see, he had a well sculpted body beneath his dress clothes. _Stop looking at him like that, Blaine, _his mind scolded. _You just got out of a relationship. You aren__'__t emotionally stable enough to enter another one._

_But you can flirt, there's nothing in the break-up rule book for that,_ he fought back. Rolling his eyes, he quit arguing with himself and turned back towards the guy, smiling when the man held out a tray of different fragrances.

"From what I can see about you, part of me thinks your mother is very old school Hollywood glam a la Marilyn Monroe or Elizabeth Taylor. I think these scents would be lovely for her."

"How did you get that from looking at me?"

"Well," the man stated, his tone low and flirtatious, "I don't think I've had a customer come in here looking for a gift for his mother dressed the way you are," he gestured at Blaine's sleek black pea coat, gray slacks, and black loafers, "nor have I ever seen someone come in who looks like they've stepped straight out of a black and white romantic film. It's very charming."

_Oh God, this guy__'s__ flirting. Oh God, oh God, oh God._

"Thank you," Blaine murmured, still sniffing the samples of fragrances laid out before him. He compared and contrasted the different perfumes until he found one that seemed right for his mother, asking the salesman to ring up a bottle of Chanel No. 5. As the guy rang up his purchase, Blaine leaned against the counter and watched as a handful of happy couples slipped in and out of the store; each one looked happier than the next, basking in their Christmas spirit and the fact that they were spending some time with their loved one.

Blaine didn't have that anymore; Kurt made sure of that.

Pushing all thoughts of Kurt to the back of his mind, Blaine slipped his credit card out of his wallet and handed it to the cashier, a shiver going up his spine when their fingers connected. However, it wasn't a pleasant one. As soon as the man turned around, Blaine felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up – he felt like someone was watching him again, much like he had felt when he first entered the store. Turning around, he glanced about the store once more and determined it was just his nerves getting to him. He turned back around to face the salesman and smiled politely as he accepted his purchase, card, and receipt. "Thank you so much for your help."

"You're very welcome. Come again," the man said with a smile. "Happy holidays!"

"You too," Blaine added with a wave as he slipped out of Macy's and back out into the throngs of people. As he walked, he checked over his receipt, blushing beet red when he noticed a tiny note scrawled at the bottom: _If you ever want to meet up for coffee or a scone sometime, call me! __–__Mason__. _There was a phone number scribbled down next to the note. Just the sight of it made Blaine's stomach flip. He just got hit on by a perfume salesperson in Macy's… it was kind of exciting. Sighing happily, he made his way through the mall only stopping when a voice came up over the intercom announcing its impending closure. Around him, many stores were already lowering their protective bars in preparation for the night's end; Blaine took that as his cue to head out to his car. As he slipped out into the cold night, he cringed and shivered when a blast of snow blew in his face; it hadn't been snowing when he first arrived at the mall hours before. Obviously he was going to have to take it easy on the drive home.

Grumbling to himself, Blaine walked up to his car and unlocked the back door, carefully placing his purchases in the back before he climbed into the driver's side. He started up the car, waiting for it to warm up properly before he started out on the road. Growing bored with just sitting there, he turned on the radio, groaning when _Baby It__'s Cold Outside_ spilled out from the speakers.

"Of course," he muttered, switching stations. He finally found another station playing Christmas music and he sat back, humming along to the song as his car warmed. As he hummed, he felt that familiar chill go up his spine and he glanced in his rearview mirror, only seeing a few people heading to their cars. _No one__'s watching you, you're just being silly, _he scolded himself, still watching people pass by. _Just lock your doors and drive straight home if you__'re that scared, wimp._ Taking his own advice, he locked the doors and backed out of the parking space, happy to be finally headed home where he could get to wrapping the presents he bought and get a good, proper start to his Christmas break.

::

His tire blew.

That or it was flat when he got out to the car earlier, but nevertheless, he had a flat and he was fucked. He turned off the car, slipping his cell phone out of his pocket as he tried to dial his parents. There was no answer at his house. _Surprise, surprise! _Groaning, Blaine went through his contacts, heart racing as he found the listing for Hummel's Tire and Lube still saved in his phone. He could easily call Burt and ask for help; Burt wouldn't leave him on the side of the road to freeze to death, no way. Well, unless Kurt said that he was the reason for their break-up… then maybe he was screwed. Sighing, he clicked on the listing and was about to press the call button when a pair of headlights pulled up behind him.

_God, please let that be a courtesy patrolman,_ he thought as he climbed out of his car and pocketed his keys and phone. A man stepped out of the vehicle behind him and waved, "Car troubles?"

"I have a flat tire," Blaine called back, steadying himself against the wind and snow. The man edged closer, walking up to the station wagon with a studious look. From what Blaine could tell, the guy looked to be around his age, maybe in college. He had a ball cap on, pulled down low, but he looked friendly enough as he gazed down at the airless tire.

"Did you run over something?"

"Not that I remember. I was just driving and everything felt off. I'd change the tire myself, but I don't remember much about putting on the spare or what to do."

"Oh, well I can help. Show me where your spare and jack are and we can get to work before this storm gets too bad."

Blaine nodded, stepping back to the trunk of his car. He pressed the button to unlock it with the keys he had in his pocket, popping open the lid. He grabbed up the jack and passed it back to the man behind him, reaching in to grab the spare. Before he could fully grasp it, something hard smacked against his skull and everything went blurry.

He slumped to the ground.

::

What seemed like hours in the dark was actually only seconds.

Blaine opened his eyes and found himself being hoisted up against the trunk of his car by an angry looking man; the more and more he looked, the more familiar the man's face seemed as he stared.

"What are you-" He choked out, only to be silenced by a fist against his jaw. He gasped as he felt the inside of his cheek tear against his teeth; blood spilled out from his mouth and ran down his jaw. The man holding him threw him back down to the ground and spat on his face.

"Fucking queer," he muttered, taking a quick kick at Blaine's side. Blaine cried out in pain when the toe of the man's boot contacted against his ribs.

"Please-"

"I didn't think I'd have to see your faggoty ass again, Anderson," the man hissed, delivering kick after kick to Blaine's stomach. "I thought your dumb ass ran away after we fucked you up at Sadie Hawkins! I thought you learned, but obviously you didn't! Piece of shit queer!"

Blaine cried out, more blood spilling from his lips and landing in the freshly fallen snow. He glanced up, eyes burning with tears. He visibly flinched when he recognized the face of the man standing before him: it was Leonard Addams, one of his main bullies from his first high school.

_Oh God, he__'s going to kill me this time. He's going to kill me._

"Is that really Anderson?" Someone called out from the other car. Leonard screamed out a confirmation and Blaine choked, eyes widening when he saw four other men step into his line of vision. "Fuck man, I thought you were crazy when you said you saw him at the mall, but damn, it _is_ him! Fuck me! I haven't seen this fucker since freshman year!"

Blaine closed his eyes, praying to whoever would listen to just make those men go away. He prayed that a car would pass by on the road and scare them off. He prayed that a courtesy patrolman would see the two cars pulled off on the side of the road and would help him.

Nothing came.

Nothing except lots and lots of pain. The men around him, which Blaine quickly realized happened to be a handful of jocks from his old school – the same ones who put him in intensive care years ago, the same ones who beat him so severely that he had to repeat a year in school - started to punch and kick at him. Their fists came out of nowhere. One of them held him steady as they pounded their fists into his stomach and punched at his face. Pain exploded in his nose and cheek; he was sure his nose had been broken and instantly, he was transported back to that awful night when he and his date were cornered outside the gym and beaten to near death.

"Please stop," he sobbed, spitting more blood out on the ground. It was so hard to breathe anymore; his lungs felt heavy and his nose was clogging with blood. "Please-"

"Shut the fuck up, faggot. When are you going to learn that it's not okay to spread your AIDS and shit around here? I saw you flirting with that queer in Macy's, you fucking fairy. You're going to burn in hell for your sins, you piece of shit."

"We're gonna make sure you pay for all this shit you and your stupid homo friends have done to society!" Another one added.

If he wasn't hurting so much, Blaine would've laughed at Leonard and his friends' stupid remarks, but he couldn't. Every breath was like fire ripping through his body, every movement like ten thousand knives ripping his bruised skin.

"Please," he pleaded one more time. A slam against his car shut him up.

"Fuck Leonard, I see headlights. Hide him or something!"

Blaine felt himself be lifted off of the ground and carried. He didn't know where they were taking him, but he prayed it wasn't to their car. Seconds later, he figured out what they were doing to him; his body went flying through the air, soon landing on the rough ground. He went rolling, rolling, rolling down the hill through sharp sticks and slick snow, his body groaning in protest with each bounce against the ice cold ground. Then as quick as it started, it ended, and he rolled right into a tree stump, his body lolling away from his side and onto his back.

"Get in the car, dumbass!"

"Shouldn't we take his shit or something to make it look like he got mugged?"

He heard a few noises up near the roadway where his car was. Then he heard a loud thump, followed by a string of curses.

"That fucker has his keys! I can't get into his car!"

"Forget it then! Get in the car and let's go!"

He listened closely to the sounds of car doors opening and slamming. Soon the sound of a car speeding off hit his ears and despite his pain, he smiled, finally glad it was all over. Opening his eyes, he stared up at the night sky – it was a soft purple, illuminated by the moonlight behind the clouds and glittering from the snowflakes falling from the sky.

It was truly serene.

_If this is the last thing I ever see, _he thought to himself darkly, _then I__'m glad. It's so beautiful. God, I love winter._ He took in a few shaky breaths and coughed, feeling the warmth of his own blood spill out onto his lips. Given the cold temperatures, the sticky liquid coagulated on his lips within seconds of hitting the cool air.

He wondered how much of a mess he looked right now. _Probably like shit._

Reaching down with shaky, frozen hands (he was sure some of his fingers were broken based on the odd angles they were curving towards), he slid his phone from his pocket and somehow was able to turn it on, his unfocused eyes locking on the blurry screen. He could see the green calling symbol and he pressed it, followed by the speaker button. A few rings went through until a gruff voice answered, "Hummel Tires and Lube, Burt speaking. We're about to close, is this an emergency?"

"Burt," Blaine coughed out, his eyes watering when he heard the man's voice.

"Blaine, buddy? You okay? You sound sick."

"Burt, I-" A moan slipped from his lips and he choked back a sob when a sharp pain slipped up his leg. _God, they broke that too._

"Blaine? Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Burt, c-can-" He sobbed wetly this time, the blood from his mouth splattering on his phone. "Burt-"

"Blaine, I'm grabbing my coat. Where are you? What's wrong?"

"C-can you… can you tell K-Kurt that I… that I love him?"

"Blaine! What? Are you okay? What are you doing? Blaine!"

Blaine stared back up at the falling snow, his eyes still watery with tears. He could hear Burt's worried shouts in the background, but everything was becoming muffled and murky. It was like someone was dunking him underwater and holding him there. He could barely breathe, he couldn't hear, and now he could barely see.

"I'm so tired," he said to no one in particular, his eyes slowly batting open and closed. "I'm just so tired."

"Blaine!"

"I'm sorry." He breathed, closing his eyes completely. "I'm so s-sorry."

And everything went black.

* * *

A/N: What have I done? I feel terrible. My heart hurts. Uhh, lemme know what you thought.


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Future chapters contain harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia.

* * *

**December 2012**

Kurt leaned back against the wall, eyes roaming the room as he studied the countless other hopefuls surrounding him. He was at his first major audition, trying out for a lead role in a student written play to be performed during the spring. He had tried out for other smaller roles before, but this one was special – it was like it was written for him and he _needed _to get this role.

Humming, he flipped through his sheet music, carefully going over his audition piece in his head as he waited for his name to be called. He was sure he was up soon; a girl with the last name Hammersmith had been called in right before him and he didn't know of any other students with 'H' names, so he had to be next.

"Are you ready for this?" A person to his right asked. Kurt turned and smiled at the boy beside him; his name was Jenson and he was in many of Kurt's classes. The two of them hit it off right away, both having come from small towns and both being absolutely positively gay. The only difference was Kurt had a boyfriend when he came to New York; Jenson did not.

But that didn't matter now because Kurt was single. He had broken it off with Blaine over Thanksgiving break and that was that even though it was much more difficult than he tried to say it was.

Truth be told, Kurt missed Blaine every single day. He missed being able to call him up and listen to Blaine's smooth voice over the phone. He missed being able to Skype him and watch Blaine's gorgeous and so, so talented hands wave around as he told an exciting story.

But most of all, he just missed _Blaine_.

However, after the move to New York, things just went stalemate between him and his now ex-boyfriend. Skype dates got cancelled over late night practices and phone calls went ignored due to study groups; to be honest, most of the cancelling was on Kurt's part and at the time, it wasn't something done on purpose. But after the sixth cancelled Skype date and the fourteenth ignored phone call, Kurt realized that things had changed. His fast paced life was overruling his time with Blaine and it wasn't fair to either of them. Blaine didn't deserve having to wait by the phone or the computer every other night until Kurt came stumbling in the door and Kurt didn't deserve to have to end phone conversations just because the Andersons had plans or Blaine needed to practice a song for glee.

So, he broke it off. It hurt like hell to do so, but after he did it, it was like a thousand pounds went flying off his shoulders.

But he wouldn't deny that he thought about Blaine every single day, wondering how his ex was faring. He heard from Rachel that Blaine seemed off when they talked on the phone and from what he had seen from Blaine's recent Facebook posts, the boy had dropped out of the spotlight to take a serious turn in studying for his SATs and ACTs.

He just hoped the poor boy wasn't working himself to death.

"Hey. Earth to Kurt?"

Kurt jumped, turning back to Jenson with a nervous smile, "Sorry Jen, I just got lost in dreamland again. What were you saying?"

"I was just asking if you were ready for the audition. I think you're up next. You'll kill it though. I just know you will."

_He sounded so much like Blaine there._

"Thank you," Kurt blushed, focusing his eyes back on his music. He hummed a few more bars and swayed, praying to whatever that he didn't forget his dance moves or any of the lyrics. Sometimes he would have nightmares about Rachel choking during her NYADA audition, except he was in her place and everything came crashing back down on him. He really hoped something like that didn't happen today.

"Umm, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Is that your phone?"

Kurt started, hand flying back to his pocket. Jenson was right; his cell phone had been viciously vibrating in his pants pocket and he had no idea – he didn't even feel it. Frowning, he pulled the phone out and stared at the screen.

_Rachel._

"I thought I told her not to call me today. She knows I have an important audition!"

"Maybe she thought you would've been finished by now? They did start late, you know."

"I know, but still, I would never call her during an audition. She knows better." Grumbling to himself about the nerve of one Rachel Berry, Kurt completely shut off his phone, stuffing it back into his pants pocket once he was sure it wouldn't come on again until _after_ his performance.

"Kurt Hummel?"

A tall, slender woman stepped out of the auditorium, her dark eyes skimming the crowd. She looked back down at her clipboard and back up at Kurt, barely smiling when she caught his eye. "Kurt Hummel?"

"That would be me," Kurt said breathlessly. Next to him, he felt Jenson grab his hand and squeeze it.

"Go get 'em, man." The boy said with a giant grin. Kurt returned the hand squeeze and smile, and then followed the woman into the auditorium.

::

He wouldn't remember his phone until he set foot in his apartment building.

::

The audition went well, in his opinion.

Kurt knew that he shouldn't let his ego take over after a decent (or, hell, maybe even stellar) performance, but he really felt he knocked that audition out of the park and if he didn't get a lead role, he was robbed. Afterwards, he and Jenson went out for coffee to celebrate their successful auditions and for once, everything felt like it was falling into place for him. He was doing well in his classes, he was getting the chance to shine on stage, and the people around him generally liked him – especially a certain few (_or one_) in particular. In fact, after they got coffee, Jenson walked him back to his building, hand in hand, releasing him with a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek and Kurt slipped inside, his stomach fluttering.

Still smiling, he leaned back against the wall in the elevator and then gasped when he felt his phone dig into his ass.

_Fuck, he forgot to check and see what Rachel wanted_. Groaning, he powered his phone on, hoping that Rachel hadn't been calling him to get him to pick up something for the apartment. He really, really wasn't planning on going back out anytime soon. What he really wanted to do was take a shower and then take a nap.

He was _exhausted_.

Stepping out of the elevator, he shook off any excess snow from his coat and boots, studying his phone screen as he walked.

Eighteen missed calls from Rachel.

Seven from Finn.

Ten from dad.

Four from Carole.

Six from Tina.

Five from Cooper.

Wait… _Cooper_? _Oh God._

Kurt threw open the door to the apartment, finding it already unlocked. He stepped inside, hands barely working as they instantly began to shake the second he saw Cooper's name on the list of missed calls.

Something was wrong. Oh God, something was wrong with Blaine. Why else would Cooper be calling?

"Rachel!" He yelled, stumbling into their tiny living room. His heart dropped out of his chest when he saw Rachel's petite form curled up on the couch, tears streaming down her face. The second she looked up at him, her expression crumbled.

"Oh Kurt!"

"Rachel, what-"

"Why didn't you answer your phone! I've been trying to call you for hours, Kurt! Oh my God!"

"What's happening? What's wrong?"

"Kurt, you need to sit down."

"Why? What is it?"

"Please sit," she directed him to the couch, small hands quivering as she gripped his shoulders. "Your dad called after you left this morning. Something happened."

"Is it Blaine? Cooper called and-"

He didn't get to finish. Rachel had burst into loud, dramatic wails, collapsing to the floor in front of Kurt's knees; she reached out and grabbed his hands, clutching them close to her face as she sobbed.

"He w-was attacked, Kurt! Somebody beat him up and h-he's on life support. They don't know if h-he'll make it."

_No._

It was in that very moment that Kurt's entire world fell out from beneath him.

* * *

A/N: What am I doing? My babies! :[


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: Contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia. Also lots of blood.

* * *

**December 2012 – Four Days Before Christmas (4:23 AM)**

There was nothing more unnerving in the world than a hospital at Christmastime. Everything still reeked of antiseptic and death, but during the holidays, the smells were also mixed in with a hint of cinnamon and pine – something truly stomach turning. Burt Hummel hated being anywhere near hospitals during the holidays, all it did was bring back bad memories of the times he paced back and forth in the hospital lobby waiting for any sort of news on his precious first wife Lizzie. Still to this day he couldn't listen to _Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas_ without flashing back to the night Elizabeth fainted and cracked her head on the toilet following a vicious round of chemo.

_God, Lizzie, how did this become my life? First I lose you, then all that stuff happened with Kurt, and now this. What is going on?_

He turned and stared over where his new wife Carole was sitting, one leg crossed over the other as she flipped through a fashion magazine. He knew she was only trying to keep herself busy, especially since she came directly from her shift at Lima's hospital to meet him at the general hospital in Westerville. He was scared to death to call her after what he had just dealt with, but he knew he needed the support and that she would be there for him no matter what.

Most of all, he also knew she would want to be there for the boy that the two of them had both grown to view as another member of the family over the last two years.

"Have you heard anything else?" Carole said quietly, effectively ending Burt's dazed thought process. He walked over to his wife and took the empty seat next to her, grabbing her smaller hand into his larger one.

"Maria hasn't come out of the ICU yet. All I know is that they're doing everything they can."

Carole nodded, a tiny whimper escaping her throat. Burt glanced at her and saw the shine of tears on her cheeks, "Carole-"

"I just don't understand who would want to hurt such a wonderful boy… a _child_; he's still a child, Burt."

Burt closed his eyes, his heart aching as he thought of Blaine's wide hazel eyes and bright smile. He knew the boy was not much younger than Kurt, but sometimes Blaine was so exuberant, so full of life despite the crappy deck of cards he had been dealt, that it was hard to actually see the boy was eighteen. Sighing sadly, Burt squeezed Carole's hand as he leaned in close to her. "I know, honey. I know."

::

_**Five Days Before Christmas **__**– 10:47 PM**_

_It was nearing closing time at the shop when the phone rang. Burt looked up from his magazine and debated on whether or not to answer the phone. He had long ago recorded a message that directed any callers who unfortunately reached the shop after closing time to call his right-hand man Randy in the case of an emergency, especially since he was always out of town for congressional meetings and appearances nowadays. He was going to let the machine get it, but the more and more he listened to the phone ring, the antsier he got. Finally after a couple rings, he stood up and answered the handset, "Hummel Tires and Lube, Burt speaking. We're about to close, is this an emergency?"_

_"Burt."_

_He would've known that voice anywhere. He hadn't heard it since Thanksgiving, not since that night he stepped into the foyer and found Blaine hastily putting on his coat and shoes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he got ready to leave. That was the night that Kurt ended his year and a half long relationship. That was the night that everything came crashing down in the Hummel household and Burt ended up having to rock his distraught son to sleep as the boy cried over whether or not he did the right thing._

_"Blaine, buddy? You okay? You sound sick."_

_He wasn't lying when he said Blaine sounded awful. The boy sounded stuffy, like he was having trouble breathing. It sort of sounded like he had a head cold and the minute that thought entered his mind, Burt prayed that his son's ex-boyfriend wasn't calling him thanks to delirium from fever._

_"Burt, I-" The boy on the line moaned and then withheld what sounded like a sob; the instant that sound slipped through the phone, Burt's entire body froze up._

_Something was wrong._

_"Blaine? Where are you? Are you okay?"_

_"Burt, c-can-" Blaine sobbed openly. There was a gurgling noise, followed by the sound of someone spitting. "Burt-"_

_"Blaine, I'm grabbing my coat. Where are you? What's wrong?"_

_"C-can you… can you tell K-Kurt that I… that I love him?"_

…_what?_

_"Blaine! What? Are you okay? What are you doing? Blaine!"_

_Everything seemed so off, so wrong in that very moment. Blaine had called him in tears; he sounded winded and broken and he wanted Burt to let his son know he was still in love with him. It was just so wrong; nothing about the situation felt right__._

"_Blaine? Where are you? Can you tell me where you are? Please, please, please don't do anything stupi__d. Please." He paused and waited for Blaine to respond, but got nothing. His heart felt like it stopped, "Blaine? Please kiddo, just say something! Are you alright? Where are you?"_

_"I'm so tired," the boy murmured. "I'm just so tired."_

_"Blaine!"_

_"I'm sorry… I'm so s-sorry."_

_And then everything was quiet. Burt yelled at the boy's name a few times, hoping that the kid could hear him, but instead he heard nothing. He strained to listen, to just hear any sort of noise that would tell him Blaine was still alive… just anything._

_And then he heard it: a car horn followed by the sound of passing vehicles. Blaine was on a roadway somewhere!_

_With his newfound information stored away, he set the handset down and ran over to grab his cell phone, immediately running back over to his work phone. He cradled that phone against his ear and went through his contacts of Kurt__'s friends__ with his other phone, spotting the name 'Tina Cohen-Chang__' on his list. Quietly praying that this was the girl he knew Blaine was good friends with, he dialed the number __and almost yelped when a breathy voice answered._

"_Hello?"_

"_Hello, is this Tina?"_

"_Umm yeah. Who is this?"_

"_Tina, this is Burt Hummel… Kurt's father."_

"_Oh my God, what's happened? Oh my God!"_

"_No, no, no Tina! Please don't freak out!" He tried to soothe, waiting for the girl's breathing to regulate a little before he continued, "I need to ask you something about Blaine."_

_Tina paused, "__What about him? What did he do?"_

"_Do you know where he was going this evening? Is he at home?"_

"_Umm… he texted me earlier saying he was going to the Westerville Mall to get some Christmas shopping done? …why? Is something wrong?" The girl hummed for a second before jumping back into the conversation, "Is Kurt home? Is he going to try to get back with Blaine because I swear, Blaine would die if Kurt wanted him back – he misses him so much!"_

_Burt tried not to think of Tina's poor word choice and instead focused on the new info he had, "You said he went to the Westerville Mall?"_

"_Mmhmm!"_

"_Okay great. Thanks Tina! I have to go."_

"_Oh, it's no problem, Mr. Hummel. Tell Kurt I said hello."_

_Burt grunted in confirmation and hung up the cell phone, turning his attention back to the handset. He called out Blaine's name a few more times and shook his head in horror when there was still no response. Deciding to not hesitate any longer, he called the police with his cell and hung up the handset, rushing out to his truck to head out to Westerville._

_He needed to find Blaine._

::

**11:58 PM**

"_Oh my God."_

_Burt knew he had found Blaine the second he came up on a dozen or so police cars and ambulances pulled over on the side of the highway. He pulled off at the nearest exit he could find and jumped back on the interstate in the direction he had spotted the emergency cars, only stopping when he was right behind a firetruck. It took him mere seconds to leap out of his car and run towards where he spotted a handful of police officers and firefighters; he took one quick glance down the embankment and almost threw up when he noted the large amount of blood splattered on the ground and the few paramedics surrounding what looked like a snowy blob._

_It was Blaine._

_Burt yelled, struggling to get past the group of cops, but was held back by a burly firefighter; the man kept him steady, eyes focused as he stared down at Burt, __"Sir, you can't go down there. This is a crime scene. You need to stay away, please."_

"_I know that boy. I was the one who called about him!"_

_One of the cops came over to them, warily eyeing Burt, "You were the one who tipped us off?"_

"_Yes! That boy down there is my son's ex-boyfriend. He called me and I called you guys right after he went silent on me!"_

_The cop looked suspicious and Burt instantly knew why: he mentioned Blaine was Kurt's ex. He knew the officer was probably thinking he or his family had something to do with it, so he immediately tried to explain himself; his eyes still glancing down the hill to where Blaine's motionless body lay._

"_My son and Blaine dated for a year and a half and they broke up after Thanksgiving. My son lives in New York and the distance got to be too much for them. Tonight, Blaine called me and told me to tell Kurt that he still loves him. That's all I know. I asked his friend Tina if she knew where he was so I could come look for him; she said he was going to Westerville to shop for Christmas. That's when I called you guys!"_

"_Aren't you Congressman Hummel?" One of the standing officers asked, stepping into the conversation to take a closer look at Burt. Burt nodded and the other officers nearby came closer as well._

"_You know this boy?"_

"_His ID says Blaine Anderson. You know of him?"_

_Questions were coming in left and right and Burt could barely keep track of them as he continued to stare down the hill at the paramedics. They were carefully lifting Blaine's still body onto a stretcher to carry up the hill. Even from his position at the top of the roadway, Burt could see how bloody Blaine was and how much snow had accumulated on his clothing._

_It would be a miracle if the kid survived._

_Finally, he was snapped back into reality when a female __officer placed a gentle hand on his arm and led him to the side. She looked up at him with bright green eyes, so sincere and curious, __"Mr. Hummel, do you think this could have been a hate crime? I know you said your son dated this young man, but from what evidence we'__ve gathered here so far, Mr. Anderson was badly beaten and yet nothing was stolen from his car. Has Mr. Anderson had any enemies in the past?__"_

_Burt shrugged. He only knew of Kurt mentioning Blaine having been beat up during his early years of high school, but he didn__'t know the story behind that. "I know he was targeted for being gay a few times in the past and one time he was beaten so bad that they put him in the hospital, but that's all I know. I have some phone numbers of his friends. They could possibly tell you some things."_

_The woman nodded, looking over her shoulder at the stretcher being brought up the embankment. "I believe they're going to want to question you as soon as we get to the hospital. You can follow us in your car if you'd like."_

_Burt nodded, also watching the paramedics carry the prone boy up the hill. Once they crested over the guard rail, a sob escaped his throat at the sight of the bloodied boy on the cot. "Oh my God, Blaine. Oh God."_

_The poor boy was pale, lips blue from what Burt could see, though it was so hard to thanks to the congealed blood that had caked there. His face was swollen and bruising fast, hair matted to his skull as blood acted as sealant against his forehead. One of his arms lay crooked, the fingers on his hand also broken; his right ankle was twisted oddly and blood stained his grey slacks. Whoever had attacked him had truly wanted to hurt him severely and Burt prayed and prayed that they hadn't actually killed him._

"_We've got a pulse, but it's weak. He's slipping on us."_

"_Get him to Westerville General stat. He may need to be lifeflighted!"_

"_Mr. Hummel?" Burt turned away from Blaine's wrecked form and looked down at the female cop, struggling to keep himself from breaking down. "Come on, follow us to the hospital."_

_He did; all the while images of Blaine's bloody, busted face flashed behind his eyes the entire ride over._

::

_When they got to the hospital, Blaine was rushed off for emergency surgery. Lifeflighting him would__'ve been too risky considering the storm happening outside, so they brought in their best surgeons __and went on their way. Burt ran into the hospital at light speed, only stopping when a cop pulled him aside for questioning._

_For an hour, he spilled everything he knew about Blaine Anderson to the officer, from how long he had known him, to his friends and possible enemies. He talked and talked and talked up until Blaine__'s parents showed up, distraught and terrified. __Mrs. Anderson instantly began bawling when the doctor pulled her and her husband aside to let them know what all had happened. Burt stood idly by, hand pressed against his heart as he prayed for Blaine to at least be alive. He knew that from what he had seen, the likelihood of Blaine being anything but okay was possible, but it still didn__'t hurt to hope._

_He wasn't able to find anything out though because both Andersons were yanked back into an area he wasn't allowed in not soon after they arrived. That was when he called Carole and told her what happened._

_And from there on, he played the waiting game._

::

**5:31 AM**

The hospital halls and waiting rooms were decorated with cheap plastic Christmas trees and fabric poinsettas; just enough to try to spread any sort of Christmas cheer to anyone who just so happened to grace their halls. To Burt, there was nothing worse than having to sit in those uncomfortable plastic chairs around a bunch of other worried patrons as you waited for someone to give you any sort of news about your loved one.

It had been over five hours since Blaine had been found on the side of the highway, brutally beaten within an inch of his life, and still there was no concrete word on who had hurt him or whether or not the boy was going to survive the attack. The second Blaine's parents had come running through the hospital doors, things had crumbled. The Andersons rushed back to be with their son (or at least as close as they could be) and Burt stayed out in the waiting room until Carole arrived. The entire time he sat there, he thought about the boy who used to practically live at his house over the last year. He remembered how much Blaine had laughed over Thanksgiving break before the break up, when he had come over to stay and ended up having a game night with the Hudmel family. Things were so much better then… and now everything had changed.

God, the first thing Burt knew he should've done was call Kurt; call him and let him know that something had happened and that he should probably come home. But he still hadn't heard much about Blaine and he didn't want to have to make that phone call to Kurt if Blaine did pass away. In fact, to be honest, he was scared to call Kurt at all.

But still he hadn't done so, at the request of Blaine's father.

::

**2:16 AM**

"_Mr. Anderson?"_

_The man stopped as soon as he heard his name and turned towards Burt, eyebrow raised when he caught Burt's eye. "Who are you?"_

"_Hello, I'm Burt Hummel. I umm, I'm the one who called the police about Blaine."_

"_Hummel? As in Kurt's father?"_

"_Yes sir."_

_It was as if the confirmation of being Kurt's dad lit a fire behind William Anderson that Burt had never seen before. He had only seen the man's face a couple of times: in family photos Blaine showed or the few times Burt had to drop Blaine off when his car kicked the bucket at the house. But each and every time Burt had seen Blaine's father, the man had never looked friendly or inviting… not once._

_And especially not now._

"_How did you know what happened to my son?"_

"_He called me at my auto shop. He wouldn't tell me where he was or what happened, so I called his friend Tina and got some info from her and went looking for him. Luckily the cops got there… is he okay?"_

"_Is my son okay? My son, the boy who just got the shit kicked out of him for the second time in the last five years; my son, the boy who spent the last month not eating or sleeping or thinking properly because of YOUR son; my son, the boy who is lying on a table almost dead… is he okay?" Mr. Anderson's hazel eyes, which were so much like Blaine's, were wild and __glistening with unshed tears. Burt wanted to reach out and place a hand on the man__'s shoulder, but didn't because William didn't look like a man who liked to be touched. Instead, he spoke:_

"_I know that what's happening is hard. I know that what happened with my son hasn't helped anything, but Blaine is like another member of our family. We just want to know if he's okay," he said, gesturing to where Carole was standing in the waiting area._

_William shot a look over to her and turned back to Burt, "Don't call Kurt."_

"_But why? Kurt needs to-"_

"_I don't want him here until we find out what is completely wrong with my son. I don't want your son here until I know if my boy is going to be okay, do you understand?"_

"_Mr. Anderson, please-"_

"_Just don't! My son may be dying. The last thing I could care about right now is if his ex-boyfriend knows if the boy whose heart he so carelessly stomped on is going to be okay or not." And with that, the man swept from the room, leaving behind a dumbfounded Carole and an aching Burt._

::

"Mr. Hummel? Mrs. Hummel?"

Burt opened his eyes to a sunny waiting room. Carole was napping against his shoulder, her hand curled into his jacket as she slept. Across from him, Mrs. Anderson stood, eyes red and puffy and looking like she had aged a good twenty years. Burt felt awful for her.

"Maria, how is Blaine? Is he-"

Mrs. Anderson choked back a sob, collapsing to the ground as Burt slid off of the chair to catch her; Carole woke instantly. "What's going on? Is it- oh my God, Maria!"

"Maria, what is it? Is he okay?"

Burt held the tiny woman as she bawled; over the last few months, after Mrs. Anderson finally came to terms with her son's sexuality and his relationship with Kurt, she started to come around. Things especially changed after Blaine's slushy accident last winter, and up until the boys' break up, Burt, Carole, and Maria had been on friendly terms. But now, things were strained and it was so awkward. Burt cautiously patted Maria's back, slowly rubbing circles on her shoulders as Carole took a spot next to him and took the other woman's hands in her own.

"Oh Maria-"

"My baby boy… my baby boy- I just- he's so little. He's my baby. He's so little. Why must people hurt him so much? I've been so foolish these last few y-years. He needed me and I p-pushed him away… and now- and n-now-"

Carole sobbed and Burt bit his lip to keep himself from crying.

_Please don__'t let him be dead. Please God._

"They don't know if he'll make it. They- they just don't know. It's so bad."

Burt listened, tears running down his face, as Maria told them what she could about Blaine's injuries. He had internal bleeding, was suffering from the after-effects of hypothermia in his hands, feet, and face, and he had numerous broken bones to account for. He spent the entire time from being admitted to the hospital, up until about an hour before, in surgery trying to be put back together piece by piece. But despite the doctors' best efforts, he just wasn't able to breathe properly on his own and if need be, depending on any brain swelling, might have to go right back into surgery.

It was all too much for Burt to bear. He took a look up at the wall clock and saw that it was nearing ten in the morning. He hadn't called Kurt all night and his gut was wrenching at the thought of his son up in New York, in the dark that his first love could possibly be dying right now. He cringed at the thought.

"Burt," Maria whispered, pulling away from Carole's embrace. "Have you called Kurt yet?"

"No, I- your husband asked me not to."

"I think Blaine would want Kurt here, you know? Could you p-please call him and let him know? Blaine would w-want him here. I just know he would. He still loves him, you know?"

"I know," Burt said quietly, not mentioning what the boy had told him on the phone hours before. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his cell phone. "I'll go call him now."

"Thank you, Burt. Thank you."

Mrs. Anderson let herself be led to one of the seats by Carole as the other woman tried to soothe her. As they softly talked, Burt left the hospital and stepped outside, looking at the freshly fallen snow. It was very peaceful, but the sight of it brought back bad memories of Blaine's blood splattered against the pure white fluff just the night before. Pushing those awful thoughts from his mind, he pulled up the number to Kurt and Rachel's apartment landline and waited until someone finally answered.

It was Rachel and the second he heard her voice, he demanded to talk to Kurt, only to find out he was at a try-out for a play. She explained that his phone was probably off and that she could give him a message and that was when Burt broke. He told her about Blaine, about being at the hospital and needing Kurt to get there as soon as possible. By the time he was done, Rachel was weeping loudly. She promised to let Kurt know when he came home, but told Burt to try his phone anyway.

He did and got no answer every single time he called. For the next few hours, he called and called and called. By the time word got out about Blaine, everyone started calling Kurt, but no one got an answer. Not a one.

It wasn't until the afternoon when Burt's phone went off and he answered, hearing a shaky voice whimper out:

"…_dad_?"

* * *

A/N: Well, that was very, very hard to write. I could envision the entire thing in my head perfectly, but NONE of it wanted to come out and be written. NONE! So if this chapter is awful, I truly apologize. I tried to get the timing of everything right and I know I didn't get into detail about Blaine's injuries, but I'm still trying to research things. You see, I have no experience in the medical field at all. In fact, I hate hospitals with a passion (they freak me out; I despise being in them because I don't like the smell, feeling, etc.) so anything medical coming out of my brain and onto paper (or word documents, lol) is just stuff I'm pulling out of wherever and praying will make sense. I'll try to discuss more of Blaine's injuries in the next chapters. Also, I don't know much about the law except for stuff I've seen on cop shows, so if I eff up anything involving the police, I apologize. I'm trying to research stuff though! Anyways, coming up soon: COOPER! Dun dun dunnnn! Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything. There we go.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia.

* * *

**December 2012**

"Mom, is there a reason you've been calling me all night? I thought I told you I wasn't going to be able to make it in for Christmas this year and I know you and dad are-"

"Cooper… it's Blaine."

::

**November 2012 – A Few Days After Thanksgiving**

"_Anderson__! Your phone is ringing! Shut it off!"_

_Cooper ran off of the set, skin prickling with anger as he made his way over to his jacket where his phone was blaring loudly. For one, he thought he turned the damned thing off before he got on set; and two, he was pretty sure he to__ld his parents and friends not to call him that week because he was shooting._

"_Damn it, Anderson! Hurry up!"_

_He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the phone, frowning when he saw his baby brother's name flickering across the screen. If he wasn't so busy__, he would've answered it, but he really needed to go back to filming this commercial before their time in the studio was up._

_Pressing the reject call button, he turned off his phone and gave the director a thumbs up as he ran back to his position on stage._

::

"_Umm__, your phone__'__s ringing."_

_Cooper pulled away from the neck of the girl he was making out with – some chick from a past season of some modeling show he could care less about – and reached over to the coffee table, grabbing up his phone._

"_Who is it?"_

_He looked down at the screen and bit h__is lip, "It's my brother. He's probably calling me about coming home for Christmas this year. I already told my mom I was busy, but I think she's gonna pull all the stops this year now that Blaine's calling."_

"_Oh," the girl said, slowly rolling her hips over Cooper's obvious erection. "Are you going to answer it?"_

"_No," he all but groaned out, shutting off the phone before he turned his attention back to the girl's hips. "I'll call him later. He'll be fine."_

::

**Early December 2012**

"_Blaine again?"_

_He __stared down at his phone for a second, watching as his little brother's name came up on the screen. This was the tenth time in the last few weeks that his brother had tried to call him and each time, he picked the worst moments to call. At that current moment, Cooper was lying face down on a massage table; a very sexy woman running her magic hands all over his back and legs as she hummed over soft, relaxing music._

"_Sir, we do not recommend talking on the phone during our massages."_

"_I'm sorry," he muttered quietly. "It's just my brother; he always wants to talk, that one!" He laughed and silenced his phone, mentally reminding himself to call his brother back later._

::

He never did.

::

"Mom, what's wrong with Blaine?"

"I just need you to come home, honey. Please! He'd want you here."

"Mom, what happened? What are you talking about?"

"Just come home."

::

When Blaine was first attacked back in high school, Cooper wasn't there.

He had shoved his brother aside because he had _more important_ things to do, like his girlfriend and hanging out with his friends and what not. His baby brother had called him up and asked him to just chaperone a simple dance and he blew him off for a date at a club.

That awful night Blaine when was beaten within inches of his life was something Cooper never, ever forgot.

And now he was sure he'd never, ever forget this night either.

::

As soon as he got off the phone with his mother, he purchased a ticket to fly home. He had less than an hour and a half to pack up his things and head to the airport, but he made do with his time and haphazardly packed, just making it to the airport with minutes to spare.

By the time he was on the plane and seated, the anxiety hit him like a mac truck and he felt faint.

_Blaine had been trying to call him for almost a month and not once had he called him back._

_He promised his brother that they were going to regain their relationship and yet he failed._

_Now Blaine was dying and Cooper would probably never be able to tell him how sorry he was and-_

"Sir? Are you alright?"

He opened his eyes to find a concerned flight attendant gazing down at him. She leaned over and stared into his eyes, her own filled with worry. "Sir?"

"Can I have some water please?" He barely choked out, eyes filling up with tears as he watched the woman nod and head off to get him a drink. He hardly noticed her except for one small thing…

Her eyes were hazel, just like Blaine's.

::

**April 2012**

"_So, what'd ya think?"_

"_I think Michael Bay will write an entire movie just for you when he sees this tape," Blaine said __enthusiastically as he put the finishing touches on the audition reel he and Cooper made that afternoon. Cooper hovered behind him, a strong hand on his little brother's shoulder as he watched Blaine burn the CD and make a custom cover to go along with it. "If you don't get the role for this movie, then something is seriously wrong with that man."_

"_Damn straight," Cooper laughed, stepping away from his brother to take a seat on the bed. He bounced a little bit and sighed, tossing himself backwards on the soft mattress. "You and Kurt make any movies on this bed?"_

"_COOPER__!"_

"_What? I'm just asking. I made a few magical things with my girlfriends and I still have them too. God bless."_

_Blaine hid his face in embarrassment, curling over the table to try to shrink himself down in size. Behind him, Cooper just laughed and laughed._

"_Jesus, Blaine! I'm just kidding with you. I thought you were going to have a heart attack for a moment there!"_

_His brother just sputtered, turning around in his chair to stare at Cooper in horror, "You can't just say those things, Coop! Mom might hear you… or even worse: Dad!"_

"_What's so bad about dad hearing us joke about sex? It's not like he and mom have never done it."_

"_Oh my God.__ I can't listen to this."_

"_Blainey, seriously, how do you think we got here? Well, how do you think you got here, I mean, you know since we're technically only half-brothers and-"_

"_Cooper, please, I just- can you stop for a moment? I'm still trying to keep myself from puking over your comment about mom and dad."_

_Cooper just laid back on the bed and waited for his brother's breathing to even out before he continued speaking. He stared at his brother's small frame and dark features, __"You know, sometimes when I look at you, you look just like mom. But then I look at your eyes __and the emotions behind them and it's like BOOM there's dad!''_

"_Oh my God, please don't say that. I'm nothing like dad."_

"_You wish. You've got that devastatingly handsome thing going on like Pops does, plus you have his eyes." He sat up and gazed over at his brother's frowning face, "Don't try to fight it, Blaine. You do have some similarities to dad."_

"_So do you," Blaine countered, waving a hand at Cooper's face. "You've got dad's everything minus the eyes. You look more like him than I do."_

"_Yeah, but you act more like him."_

_That seemed to be a sore topic._

_Blaine jumped up to his feet and threw his hands in the air, eyes wild (and God, did that not make him look more like their dad) as he began protesting to the high heavens about why he wasn't anything like their father. "You should be shot for that comment, Coop! Dad is a complete asshole. God, I know that's mean to say but you haven't been here to see the way he acts. I am nothing like him, you hear me? Nothing!"_

_Cooper raised his hands in surrender, watching as his little bro's anger began to shrink down in size after his explosion. He knew he had made mistakes in the past about not being around his family, but he never realized how much things had changed._

_Blaine, for one, had morphed into two completely different people: the extremely quiet introvert and the boy who would blow up if you pushed him too far. All his life, he had only known Blaine to be quiet and meek, but over the last few days and after seeing his brother beat the shit out of a punching bag, Cooper knew he had missed too much._

_Their father, on the other hand, was somewhat anti-social and power hungry. He knew he controlled the household, but he also knew how to make everyone else around him crumble if he was displeased. Cooper had seen his father get angry for the first time in forever at dinner a few nights before and watched as his dad and Blaine got into a verbal spat of sorts over Blaine's relationship with that Kurt kid. It was also the first time that Cooper had seen his mother shrink back into her chair – something he had never seen her do._

"_Okay, I'm sorry. You're not like dad. I guess it's just the eyes though."_

_Blaine relented, slumping back in his chair with a loud sigh. "It's not like I hate dad or anything. I just can't stand thinking that I'm anything like him… the way he is now. He wasn't that bad before I came out, but now, especially since I'm with Kurt…. He's just a jerk."_

"_Well, if it means anything to you, I'm really jealous you got his eyes. I wish mine were hazel."_

"_You have __BLUE eyes! Shut up! I wish mine were blue."_

_Cooper smiled and clucked his tongue as he stood up and wrapped his arm around his brother's neck in a fake chokehold. "Well then how about I pop your eyeballs out and then mine and we can switch." He poked Blaine in the eye and listened as his brother laughed loudly, squirming under his hold._

"_Coop, quit!__ I mean it! Stop!__"_

::

He wondered if he'd ever be able to goof around with his brother like that again.

He also wondered if he'd ever get to see Blaine's big ole hazel doe eyes blinking up at him in amusement again, much like they did that last time he was in Ohio months and months ago.

::

"Mom, I'm in Chicago. There's a delay because of the snow. How's Blaine?"

"He just came out of surgery. It's- it doesn't look too good, sweetheart. They've got him in a m-medically induced coma right now a-and they're waiting for the brain swelling to go d-down."

"But he'll be okay, right? Blaine's a fighter; he'll pull through."

He didn't get an answer. His mother burst into tears.

::

The wait in the airport was awful. The people around him were complaining about their flight being delayed and how they had places to be and what not and the entire time they were ranting, Cooper wanted to do nothing but scream at them. He watched one woman yell at her little girl because the child wanted something to eat; he saw another man flip out on his teenage son over something as trivial as a mixed-up jacket. And as he listened to the people around him bitch and moan, he just wanted to yell at the top of his lungs that they shouldn't be so angry at Christmastime, that they should be glad they had a happy and healthy family to be with… unlike his, because right now in Ohio, his little brother was probably dying and there was nothing he could do about it.

::

"Kurt, it's me: Cooper. I don't know if anyone's gotten a hold of you yet, but you need to get back to Ohio. Blaine is hurt and as his boyfriend, I thought you should know. He loves you a lot, Kurt, and he'd want you there. Call me when you get this. Bye."

He wasn't sure if anyone had spoken to Kurt yet or not, but from what he heard during his last phone conversation with his mother, the boy had yet to be heard from. So, Cooper decided to take things into his own hands and he called and called and called his brother's boyfriend, hoping that the boy would at least answer the phone just once.

Because if he knew Kurt well enough based on what Blaine had told him and from what he learned about the teen last spring, Kurt would bend over backwards for Blaine – and likewise.

::

How wrong he was.

::

By the time the plane landed in Columbus, Cooper was ready to bolt.

He dashed out of the terminal as fast as he could, luggage in hand, ready to wave a taxi out of nowhere. He stopped however when he spotted a familiar man standing at the front of the airport with a sign in hand that had his name on it.

"Mr. Schuester?"

The glee club director was there in the flesh standing next to what Cooper determined was his car. He rushed towards the man, clapping him on the back with his hand and exchanging pleasantries before the two men piled in the car and Schue drove him to Westerville.

Neither one spoke a word the entire drive, but they didn't need to. Schue knew Cooper was thankful he was there and Cooper knew that his brother had one hell of a good teacher.

::

"Mom!"

"Cooper, oh thank God!"

He wrapped his arm around his mom, squeezing her tight as she led him through the hospital wings and past many, many familiar faces. He only glanced over for a second, but he could already see the waiting room filled with people there to support Blaine: from members of the glee club (past and present – New Directions and, surprisingly, Warblers alike) and Kurt's parents. He gave them a nod hello as they passed before his mom tugged him down a long, bright hallway.

"Blaine's down here," Maria said as she halted to a stop, slowly placing her hands on Cooper's arms. "You need to prepare yourself for what you're about to see. It's a lot worse than the last time he was in the hospital, honey. You just need to know that."

"Okay," Cooper whispered, his throat tightening as he remembered how bad off Blaine was the last time he was in a situation like this. _What did they do to my brother? If he's so bad off right now, what much more could they have done?_ He swallowed thickly and followed his mom into the room; a gasp erupted from his lips as he took in the horrible scene before him.

Blaine lay motionless in a bed that looked much too big for his tiny form. His skin was ghostly pale in some spots, yet mostly yellow, black, purple, and blue in others and his face was swollen to the point where he was barely recognizable. Cooper brought his hand to his mouth and stifled the sob that started to slip out – the person lying in that bed couldn't be his brother; it just couldn't.

"They broke him," he whimpered, blue eyes watering as he walked closer to his unconscious brother. He couldn't believe the amount of wires and tubes that were sticking out of the injured boy; there were just so many – so many things required to keep his brother going, to keep him alive and breathing.

It was all too much.

"He kept calling me," Cooper whispered to no one in particular. He felt his mother's eyes on him and a hand slipped into his as he kept on talking, "He kept on calling and I never picked up. I kept telling myself that I was gonna call him back and I didn't. I didn't call him back."

"Kurt broke up with him," Maria said softly. Once the words slipped from her lips, the hand tucked within hers slipped out.

"He did what?"

"Over Thanksgiving… Kurt broke up with him. He said something about the distance being an issue and he ended it. Your brother was heartbroken. He didn't- his friend Tina said he had forgotten about Christmas shopping because he was s-so upset and that's why he was out tonight... I mean, last night."

"Kurt broke up with him," Cooper hissed angrily, taking one look at his brother's distorted body. _That__'s why Blaine had been calling him. He needed someone to talk to… and not once had Cooper bothered to answer the phone._ "He called me to talk and I didn't answer. I didn't call him back. I didn't-" The anger in his voice dissipated and turned into sorrow as he sunk down in a chair, hands cradling his face as he began to cry.

"Cooper, sweetie."

"Don't mom, please. I just- I'm awful. I should've picked up the phone. I should have picked up the fucking phone. I promised him I'd be a better brother and I fucked up. I fucking failed him."

Maria hovered by Blaine's bed, her eyes darting between her two boys. Cooper with his goofy exterior and silly antics and Blaine with his quiet demeanor, yet kind heart… both of her boys, both of them deeply troubled and hurt. She placed a gentle hand on Blaine's blanketed foot, her eyes watering as she wondered why so many cruelties plagued her family.

"We just have to pray, honey. We just have to hope that Blaine will be alright and-"

"Mom, just stop. I can't listen to this right now." Cooper muttered, wiping the tears from his eyes. He stood up from his chair and deliberately looked away from Blaine's bed, not ready to see his brother's barely recognizable face again after his breakdown. Sniffing, he strode to the door, offering his mother one last comment before he left.

"I need to talk to Kurt."

* * *

A/N: Okay so there's a little bit from Cooper's perspective (and yes, I know Kurt's not in OH yet, but he'll get there). Next chapter will go back and forth from Kurt, Burt, and the Andersons. I think I might add a little bit of Rachel and Tina as well. Also, do you guys want to see anyone else's reactions or do you just want to cut to the chase? I'm not gonna spend a lot of time worrying about everyone, don't worry. I will be diving back into the _KurtandBlaine_ of it all once Kurt gets back to Ohio. Anyways, thanks so much for the reviews and I hope to hear more feedback from all of you!


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything. There we go.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia. Possible (slight) SPOILERS for the SEASON 3 FINALE.

* * *

**Late May 2012**

"_I didn't get in. I didn'__t get in and now I'm not going to New York and I can't- I can't-"_

_Kurt crossed his arms over his chest as he paced back and forth in his bedroom; Blaine sat on his bed, eyes watery as he stared up at his rambling boyfriend. Just hours before, Kurt, Rachel, and Finn had opened the most important mail of their young lives – the mail that would basically foretell their future – and both Kurt and Finn had found out that they hadn't made it after all. It had only been minutes after Rachel announced that she was accepted to NYADA when Kurt excused himself from the room and fled to his car, texting Blaine along the way to let his boyfriend know to meet him at the Hudmel house._

_And there they were._

_The second his bad news slipped from his lips, Kurt knew Blaine would want to comfort him. His boyfriend stepped forward, ready to pull him into a tight, soothing hug, but Kurt couldn't take the physical contact, instead stepping aside with a shake of his head._

"_Not right now," he had said before he launched into a spe__ech about his fears and sorrows over not being chosen for NYADA. He ranted and raved for several minutes; the longer he talked, the more choked up he got and he could easily see Blaine trembling from his position on the bed – the desire to jump up and gather Kurt into a tight embrace practically causing the boy physical discomfort._

"_Oh Kurt, I-"_

"_Don't apologize. It's not your fault. You weren't on the NYADA admissions board. You weren't the one who determined whether or not I'd be getting out of this hell hole."_

"_Kurt-"_

"_I'm not like Rachel. I should've known that by now. Rachel's always gotten what she wanted. I should've listened to her. I should've stuck with songs from Phantom and played it safe. I should have been more forceful like she was."_

"_Kurt, no."_

"_I should've__ called up Carmen Tibideaux like she did. I should have done more this year instead of sit on my ass and expect things to just happen. Perhaps if I did more, NYADA would've seen that I had the drive, that I had the potential, but I didn't. I really, really screwed this up-"_

"_Kurt, please, you couldn't of-"_

"_You know, Blaine, I can't do this right now."_

_Blaine sat back on the bed, eyes wide as his mouth fell open in shock, "What do you mean? Are you breaking up with me? I didn't- I never- Kurt, I-"_

"_No__… no,__ I just need some time alone, please. I'll call you later, alright?"_

_Blaine slowly rose from the bed. He stared at Kurt's stone-faced expression and sighed heavily, "Okay," he whispered as he stepped forward and placed a gentle kiss to his boyfriend's lips. "I love you."_

"_I love you too," Kurt said quietly, waiting until he heard his boyfriend's car exit the driveway before he burst into loud, broken sobs._

::

**Early June 2012**

"_What are these?"_

"_You'__re going to New York."_

"_Dad, I told you before: NYADA rejected me. I'm not going anywhere except maybe working your position at the shop__ while you__'re in DC__. What makes you think I'm going to New York anyway?"_

_Burt rolled his eyes, settling down in the seat next to Kurt at the table. He set a handful of envelopes down, eyes sparkling in mirth as he stared at his dumbfounded son. "You mean to tell me that you didn't apply for these?"_

"_Are these- are these acceptance letters?"_

_Burt nodded, separating the pile of letters out on the bare table. He pushed a few opened envelopes to the side as well as a few thicker unopened notes towards his son's splayed fingers. "Some of these came a few weeks ago. I knew you were mostly waiting on the NYADA letter, so I set them aside until you heard from them. These ones," he said as he gestured to the plump envelopes, "just came a few days ago. You were still a little down about Rachel leaving, so I decided to wait to let you know that these came. So, here they are."_

"_But I didn'__t apply for these schools! How did they-"_

_A voice from behind chimed in and instantly Kurt knew what had happened. "I applied for you... with help from your dad, of course."_

"_Blaine?"_

_Blaine stepped into the room, smiling at both Burt and Kurt as he set his overnight bag down and took a seat at the table. He __weaved his fingers together and looked down at the polished wood as a deep blush rose on his cheeks, "Tina told me about how she applied for places for Mike and we got to talking and I was so scared about you and how you didn't have a backup plan and God, Kurt, I know you wanted to get into NYADA so bad, but I was scared that you might blame me for you not getting to NYC because of West Side Story, so I had your dad help me get the stuff to send in some online applications to some schools for you and-"_

"_Blaine!" Burt interrupted. He smiled brightly a__nd reached across the table to pat his son's boyfriend's shaking hands. "You're rambling, kiddo."_

"_S-Sorry. I just- I just thought you should know."_

_Kurt watched his boyfriend closely before he went back to studying the scattered envelopes. "All of these schools are in New York."_

"_It's your dream to go there. You were made for that city, Kurt."_

_Burt took the misty-eyed look in his son's eyes as his cue to go, but before he completely left the room, he grasped Blaine's shoulder in a fatherly embrace, adding before he left, "You know, you're a good kid, Blaine." His sentiment didn't go unnoticed by either boy and Kurt couldn't help but smile when he noticed his boyfriend wipe a few stray tears away from his long lashes._

"_You didn't have to do this."_

"_But I did because you deserve it, Kurt. You deserve everything. I know I said I was scared of you leaving, but I don't want to hold you back. I want to see you shine. I want to see you light up Broadway and rock the house and become the star you're destined to be." He swallowed thickly, wringing his hands together. "I love you so much, Kurt, and while I was certain you'd make it into NYADA, I just had to make sure you had other options just in case… I hope you aren't mad at me."_

"_No, no, I could never be mad at you," Kurt whispered, hands still trailing over the letters. The thicker envelopes made his stomach flip with excitement; the NYADA letter he had gotten a week before was thin and pathetic; these ones felt like heaven, like a future. He fingered the seam of one __of the notes and smiled, "How about you help me open these?"_

"_You're not mad?"_

"_No, Blaine." He said as he stood from his spot and made his way around to sit next to his nervous boyfriend. He took Blaine's hand within his own and pressed a ki__ss to the trembling boy__'s pursed mouth. "In fact, I'm proud of you. I'm so thankful to have such a wonderful, thoughtful boyfriend like you."_

"_I love you," Blaine whispered as he leaned in to capture Kurt's mouth again._

"_I love you too."_

::

Kurt's head lolled against the window, his eyes struggling to stay open as he slipped in and out of flashbacks. Everything - his entire being - was numb with pain. All he could think of when he closed his eyes were the memories of the last year and how Blaine had been there for him through thick and thin; how Blaine had been there to piece him back together and help push him forward when he felt like things were truly collapsing around him; and how even though Blaine had put his all into helping out Kurt, Kurt still brutally crushed his heart in his hands without a single thought.

And it was all because of the doubts people had been placing in his head since the minute he set foot in the city.

::

**Late September 2012**

"_You have a boyfriend? That's funny. You never talk about him."_

"_It's hard. He's back in Ohio and I'm here and sometimes it just hurts to think about how we're going to be separated for the year, you know?"_

"_Can't say that I do__, pix. I ended things with Mary before I hopped on the plane out here. We're still friends, but it's easier this way. That way I don't end up having been led into temptation and becoming a cheater when I accidentally get too drunk to function and end up sleeping with some random chick."_

"_Well, that's not going to happen with me and Blaine. I would never cheat on him and he'd never cheat on me."_

"_Whatever you say. I still think you're making a mistake; you're a sexy guy, Kurt, and if I weren't a flaming lesbian, I'd be all over you. Hell, if I were a guy, I'd be begging to tap that ass. Just you wait: guys will be knocking on your door in no time and you'll be wondering why in the hell you're waiting up for your first love who's still back in pre-school-"_

"_High school."_

"_-and things will fall apart from there."_

_Kurt rolled his eyes and stepped away from his tipsy friend, storming his way across the room to where a few of his fellow theatre friends were seated. He ended up spending the evening with them, half-heartedly contributing his two cents into the conversations, but most of the time, his thoughts went flying back to what Emilina had told him just moments before._

::

"Kurt, are you okay?"

Rachel leaned against him, running a hand up and down his arm as she watched him carefully. He knew he was crying; he could feel the wetness on his cheeks. Sniffling, he wiped his hand across his eyes and directed his attention back out the window, watching as the clouds went whooshing by the plane as they flew into Ohio.

"What if he doesn't wake up?"

"Kurt, no, you can't think like that."

"But what if he doesn't, Rachel? What if he dies and I never get the chance to say I'm sorry… that I still love him."

"Oh Kurt-"

"I was such an idiot. I told him I'd never say goodbye to him and I did. What if this goodbye is permanent?" He leaned his head against the window as he cried, the loud whirr of the plane's engine drowning out his sobs.

::

**August 2012**

"_I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," Blaine whispered, his hand running up the length of Kurt's __bare stomach. Kurt stopped the movement by placing his palm on top of Blaine__'s, smiling when he felt his boyfriend's body slump against him._

"_I can't believe I'm leaving either. It's going to be so hard being away from you."_

_Both boys laid there in the darkness, complete silence surrounding them minus the hum of the central air conditioning blowing around the room. The aftermath of their slow, precious lovemaking still hung in the air – whispered promises and long, __desperate kisses tucked safely in their hearts as they both tried to push the inevitable from their minds. Blaine snuggled close to his boyfriend__'s chest, curling his arms around Kurt's waist._

"_Are we going to be okay?"_

_Kurt laughed softly, wrapping his own arms around the boy cuddled against him. "We'll be fine, I told you before. We'll make it through this. Nothing can touch us or what we have."_

"_You always say that."_

"_And I mean it each time, honey. I love you and I will never ever say goodbye to you."_

_As soon as the words slipped from his mouth, Blaine burst into tears; Kurt following him soon after. They laid wrapped up in each other, tears streaming down their cheeks as Kurt pressed hot, wet kisses against Blaine's stubbly jawline. He kissed along every single scar on his boyfriend's perfect body, cursing the men who had destroyed the boy he loved so much that he had to repeat a year in school; if it weren't for them, Blaine would be joining him in New York like they planned. He pressed a lingering kiss against a hidden scar on Blaine's hairline, pulling away with a gasp when his boyfriend sobbed loudly beneath him._

"_Blaine?"_

"_Don't leave me. Please don't. I can't be alone here without you. I don't want you to go!"_

"_Oh honey-"_

"_Please don't leave. Please?" Blaine pleaded brokenly, his arms tightly wound around Kurt's back. Kurt held his shaking body close__r, murmuring quiet comforts into his crying love__'s ears._

"_I'm never going to leave you, Blaine. I promise. I promise."_

::

Rachel rushed into her father's arms, stepping back a little to allow her other dad to join the hug as well. They held each other close for a few seconds before she pulled away and went back to where she left Kurt standing a few feet behind them. Tugging his hand into her own, she followed her dads out to the car and helped Kurt get inside before she climbed in after him.

Ever since his breakdown on the plane, Rachel had been terrified to get off of the plane and make her way to the hospital. She knew Kurt's entire existence at that moment was riding on whether or not Blaine was okay, but for her, she was worried about _both_ of them.

She had been around when Kurt started distancing himself from Blaine. She had been the one who listened to Blaine's quiet, _barely_ controlled sobs the night that he called her following their break-up. Every time she saw a post on Blaine's Facebook from one of his friends or even a random, vague status from the boy himself, she wanted to rush into Kurt's room and shake him for being so foolish.

But she knew he was taking the break-up hard too. Days after they landed in the city following the break-up, he rushed out of the apartment, off clubbing with a few of his friends from theatre; only to come back in hours later, drunk off his ass crying about Blaine.

Now, Blaine was in the hospital fighting for his life and with just one look at Kurt, Rachel knew he blamed himself now more than ever. _He_ was the one who ended their relationship; _he_ was the one who pulled away from it all in the beginning. Blaine had been fighting for their relationship for months after Kurt's move from Ohio and Kurt had begun separating himself after things became too hard for him. It wasn't like Rachel didn't know that feeling; she and Finn were dealing with their own issues, especially after that stunt he pulled last summer when he stuck her on that train, _but_ she couldn't even – _didn__'t want to_ – imagine what it would be like to know that her first love was practically dying after she broke his heart. She just couldn't comprehend it.

And that's what led her to trying to be as supportive as she could with Kurt. She comforted him as best she could when they were back in their apartment in New York, especially when he first heard the news about Blaine. She took care of the arrangements for their flight home, helped pack his bag, and held his hand on the plane ride there; and she was holding his hand now, occasionally glancing over to see if he was still breathing properly or crying.

He wasn't; he was just staring out of the window, eyes deadened and lost. He looked terrible and for maybe the third time in her life, Rachel Berry was scared of what the entire outcome of this awful situation would be… for everyone.

Because if Blaine didn't survive this, she knew the storm that would follow would only cause more damage within her life, her friends' lives, and _especially_ Kurt's.

* * *

A/N: Kurt's almost at the hospital, y'all. I decided not to really dive into the minor characters' reactions, but I will mention some stuff here and there. I'm going to mostly focus on Kurt's entire reaction through this whole thing in the next chapter or so… so be prepared! Anyways, thanks for reviewing the last chapter (it got more reviews than the last couple) and I hope to hear from more of you! Also, any questions - just hit me up on my Tumblr: _neverluckylindy_! :)

[EDIT]

Okay so, I got a few messages about Blaine being able to apply to schools for Kurt. I probably should've added in my author's note the first time I posted this that I wasn't sure whether or not he could without any sort of help from Kurt, BUT I didn't and you guys noticed and voila: here I am making an edit, lol. Anyways, I don't remember diddly squat about applying for college as I did so ages ago and even then, I think my mom played around with the applications more than I did (what I can say, by the time HS graduation hit for me, I had mentally checked out of everything). But, I digress. So I added a few things to the scene with Kurt/Burt/Blaine and the applications. If it still seems farfetched... well, I think that's about as close to reality as it's gonna get because I have no idea where else to take the scene. Yep. But anyways, Glee's pretty ridiculous as it is when it comes to real life soooooo... hope this helps a little bit and if it doesn't or you have any suggestions on how I could fix the scene, drop me a line on here or Tumblr. Thanks! ;)


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything. There we go.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia.

* * *

"Do you think Blaine will make it?" Rachel asked softly, her fingers carding through a sleeping Kurt's hair. The boy had finally began to doze off about a half an hour through their journey to the hospital and as soon as Rachel felt her friend's breathing even out, she jumped straight into the lion's den, eager to find out more on Blaine's condition.

"Well, from what Burt's told us, things aren't looking too good, sweetheart," Hiram said softly, taking his eyes off of the road for a second to gaze at his daughter's worried face in the rearview mirror. "Burt said Blaine was a mess when he got to him last night and that he finally came out of surgery hours ago. I guess they spent a lot of time working on him. Poor boy."

"Oh," Rachel whispered, focusing her attentions back on Kurt as the boy stirred in her lap. She hummed quietly under her breath and kept running her fingers through his hair, quietly praying that he wouldn't wake until they got to the hospital. She didn't want him to hear anything that she and her fathers were talking about; she just knew he'd have a hard time coping with it, even though he'd have to deal with it all once they got to the hospital.

Little did she know that Kurt was actually awake and feigning sleep, his heart breaking with each mentioning of Blaine.

::

**October 2012**

"_Oh my God, Kurt, I'm so sorry! I completely forgot our Skype date was tonight! My parents are hosting a dinner with my dad's boss and his family and I'm supposed to go… I'm sorry."_

"_I know... just message me when you're done, okay?"_

"_Okay, I love you. I'm sorry."_

"_I love you too. It's okay."_

::

"_Oh crap, Blaine! I knew I was forgetting something! I'm sorry-"_

"_It's alright."_

"_No, no I should've remembered our date night. I don't even know why I agreed to that study group. I can cancel, it's no problem!"_

"_No, Kurt! You need to keep up with your school work. Just call me tomorrow, okay?"_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I'm positive. Now go study and be a good student. Love you."_

"_Love you more."_

::

"_Kurt?"_

"_You didn't sign on yesterday and you completely ignored my texts."_

"_I know and I'm so sorry. I came home from glee yesterday and I just passed out. I didn't think I was that tired but school's really taking a lot out of me this year. Was your senior year this stressful because if it was, I am soooo sorry for being such a bother!"_

"_Shut up, dummy. You weren't a bother… and yes, my senior year was pretty exhausting."_

"_I'm still sorry though. I should've called you."_

"_No, it's okay. I understand. Get your rest, okay honey? We'll have another Skype date when you're feeling better."_

::

**November 2012**

"_I can't be online for much longer, Blaine."_

"…_but tonight's ummm… well, you know…"_

_Somewhere in Kurt's room, his phone began to ring. He turned away from the computer, silenced the phone, and then flipped back, frowning. "Sorry, honey, but I really, really have to go. I have a lot on my plate tonight. Can't I just call you tomorrow?"_

_Blaine sighed, dejected. "Of course. I hope you don't study too hard."_

"_I guess I'll talk to you later then."_

"_Yep. Love you."_

"_You too. Bye," Kurt said plainly as he disconnected the call. Slipping on a jacket, he turned around in the mirror and admired his outfit. His phone dinged in the corner and he rushed over to get it, smiling when he read the message._

**From Emilina: **We're outside. Come on, pixie!

_With one last glance in the mirror to make sure his hair looked decent, Kurt rushed out of the room and outside towards his group of friends, ready for a night of partying and fun. In the meantime, in his bedroom in Ohio, Blaine blew out some candles and tucked away the items he brought out to celebrate the one year anniversary since he and Kurt had first made love._

::

"Kurt? We're here."

Kurt opened up his eyes, squinting against the brightness of the overhead lights. Hiram and Leroy had already gotten out of the car and were waiting for Rachel and Kurt to step out; both men were also ready to help Kurt inside if need be, especially since he looked as if he was about to collapse the second he set foot outside of the vehicle.

"Need any help, baby doll?" Leroy asked, peering into the car. Rachel shook her head negatively and helped Kurt sit up properly, her tiny hands helping hold him steady. Both teens slipped out of the open car door and Kurt swayed on his feet for a moment before stilling himself. He looked up at the looming building and his eyes welled with tears; somewhere inside, Blaine was fighting for his life.

It was a thought that made his skin crawl.

"Come on," Hiram said softly, taking Rachel's hand and Kurt's wrist within his own. He slowly walked them over the slick snow covered parking lot and got them to the main doors safely, only stopping when a tall, muscular man stepped into his field of vision.

"Leave Kurt here," the man stated bluntly. Kurt's eyes leapt from the ground and he worried his lower lip at the sight of Cooper Anderson; he knew he probably wasn't wanted at the hospital by either of the parental Andersons, but after listening to Cooper's messages on his phone, he was sure the man actually wanted Kurt there. Now, he was just confused.

"I'm sorry, sir," Leroy explained, "but Kurt's with us. He's here to see-"

"I know who he's here to see," Cooper interrupted, icy eyes still not leaving Kurt's. "He's here to see my little brother. But right now, we're going to talk and you guys are going to leave and when I'm done talking with Kurt, I'll bring him in."

"But-"

"I'll bring him in," Cooper hissed, pointing at the doors. "Please take your parents inside, Rachel." As soon as her name slipped from his lips, Rachel gnawed on her lip and grabbed onto her father's hands. She shot a look of concern at Kurt, but nodded when she caught his eye.

"I'll be fine," he said, shooing the group away from him before he turned back to stare at Cooper. "Go inside and let my dad know that I'm here. I'll be in shortly."

Hiram and Leroy held back, both still weary of the man glaring daggers at Kurt. "Are you sure?" They asked simultaneously. Kurt just nodded at them and waved his arms towards the hospital entrance.

"I'll be fine. I promise. Just go tell my dad I'm here and I'll be in as soon as I can."

The Berrys stared for a while longer before finally turning to go inside, leaving Kurt alone with a fuming Cooper. Both men stood still in the cold, only the sound of their labored breathing filling their ears. Cooper spoke first after several minutes of silence, his voice scratchy and quiet. "You broke up with him."

"It was a mistake."

"Was it?"

"Yes, I-"

"Was it only a mistake _after_ you got the call that my baby brother was dying? Or have you regretted it since the moment you did it?"

"I-"

Cooper huffed, his breath coming out in small puffs in the wintry air. He threw his arms into the air as he began to pace back and forth, "God, Kurt, I thought you loved Blaine. I thought-"

"I do love him! I love him so much and I was so stupid! I can't- I never-"

"He called me for weeks. He just kept on calling and I had _no_ idea. I thought he was only doing it because mom wanted me to come home for Christmas and it turns out, he just wanted to talk... he wanted to talk to me about you and he was hurting and I never ever picked up the phone."

"Cooper..."

"Now all I can think about was how he was just so _alone_ these last few weeks, how all he wanted was to talk to someone and I failed him. I told him we'd be closer! I told him I'd be a better brother to him and I fucking lied! And now... and now he's in there _dying_ and I don't know what to do."

Kurt stilled, his eyes wet and lips trembling as he watched Cooper berate himself. All of this information was new to him; he had no idea the Anderson brothers weren't in contact again. The last time he had properly spoken to Blaine, the boy hadn't even mentioned his brother and Kurt thought it was because there really wasn't much to discuss. Oh how he was wrong.

"Cooper, you can't blame yourself."

"Well then who can I blame? I can't blame you, though God knows I want to. I can't blame my parents even though I can't even fathom how they didn't know Blaine was fucking falling apart!"

"The people who did this to him are the ones-"

"The ones I should be blaming, yeah I know that! But right now, I don't have any names. I don't have any faces to put with this fucking thing, so how am I supposed to deal with this? I can't go back in there and look at him without wanting to destroy something, Kurt. I just can't." Cooper slammed his back into the wall and slid down it, plopping down on the wet, slushy ground with a dull thud. "Blaine's always been a better person than me. He's always been smarter, more talented, and just _better _than me and yet he always gets screwed over no matter what. I'm guilty of it, you're guilty of it... fuck, everyone has dicked Blaine over in some way... and yet he never stops forgiving. And now look what's happened to him? How much more of this shit can he take?"

Kurt stood silent, eyes downcast to the ground. He had been asking himself the same exact thing since he heard the news hours ago. _Why was it always Blaine? What in the world did he ever do to deserve the universe's worst luck?_ "I don't know."

"Of course you don't," Cooper scoffed as he rose up from the ground. He patted at his wet bottom and scowled, feeling foolish over having sat in the snow. "God damnit!" He stormed into the hospital with Kurt hot on his tail; the two men strolled through the quiet, desolate halls, Cooper's pace much faster than the boy trailing behind him. Kurt felt his stomach flip as he walked through hall after hall lined with plastic Christmas trees and fake snow – it didn't seem right to have all these cheery items laying around in such a dreary, awful place.

"Come on," the man walking ahead of him said. "You're going to be the missing brother. They won't let you in to see Blaine if you aren't related to us. We'll just lie. Go along with it; don't ask any questions and let me do the talking."

"You're actually going to let me see him?"

"To be honest, I'd rather rip you apart piece by piece right now, but I know my brother would go absolutely cray-cray if I ever harmed a precious little hair on your stupid head. So yes, I'm going to sneak you in to see him... but only because I know Blaine would want it and I'm hoping that by some sort of miracle, you can help him get better."

Kurt wanted to protest that this wasn't a movie, that Blaine just wasn't going to wake from his coma with a smile on his face as soon as the love of his life stepped into the room. This was reality where people got shit thrown in their faces and lost the fight to live, where people would start one day on the right foot and end it in the hospital, dead from a car accident or in a coma due to an unexpected heart attack.

He swayed a bit on his feet as they stopped in front of the elevators, memories of his mother's death and his father's illness assaulting him left and right. He leaned forward and pressed a hand against the wall to steady himself; out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cooper's eyes narrow at him.

"If you faint right now, I'm going to be really pissed."

"I don't think I can do this."

"Like hell you can. You're gonna take your ass upstairs and apologize to my brother. I don't care if he can't hear you right now, you need to see him."

"I don't think-" Kurt whispered, his heart aching at the thought of Blaine laying prone in a bed somewhere in that building. He remembered how hard it was to see his father sick and laid up in bed, completely unconscious and needing a miracle. He couldn't even fathom, nor did he even want to entertain the idea, that Blaine was fighting for his own life at that very moment. That in a matter of minutes, he'd be heading upstairs to the ICU to see the boy that he dumped no more than a month ago. "Cooper, I can't-"

"Damnit Kurt," Cooper almost yelled, his voice low and menacing as he struggled not to scream at the paling boy before him, "Blaine may be dying! Do you understand me? He might die. There's a pretty good chance he won't wake up ever, alright?" Kurt sobbed loudly and the man continued his tirade, "I'm not going to let you just brush this off. You need to come see him. I don't care if you come in and walk out soon after. Just get your behind in there and look at him."

Kurt wiped his damp cheeks and stepped into the elevator, continuing to cry until they got to Blaine's floor. The two men walked down the hall, past a handful of important people in Blaine's life, until they reached Burt and Carole. Burt quickly swept his crying son into a tight hug, his gruff voice whispering soft reassurances into his boy's ears.

"It's going to be okay, Kurt. I'm here for you. We're all here for you."

Kurt looked up from his father's shoulder and stared at the group of sad faces staring back at him; handfuls of people from New Directions and the Warblers stared back at him, a few eyes cold and hateful, others worried and scared. He nodded at them before he was tugged away by Cooper. He followed Blaine's brother to a lone room near the end of the hall. "Wait here," Cooper said as he let go of his arm and went to sign Kurt in (as Blaine's older brother, no doubt) before they both stepped into the dark, stuffy room.

"Oh my God... Blaine, no."

His legs went weak and turned to jelly beneath him, causing his body to collapse in a mess on the floor. Mrs. Anderson rushed from her seat near Blaine's bed to grab up her son's ex-boyfriend.

"Oh Kurt, you came! Thank goodness!"

"Oh Blaine, no no no. No no no no no." Kurt knew he was babbling against Blaine's mother's shoulder. The woman rocked him slowly as they both sat on the floor, Maria's fingers stroking the length of his back. "Oh Blaine... why?"

"I don't know, honey. I really don't."

"He never- he didn't- I'm such an idiot."

Maria didn't disagree. She just continued to run her fingers along his back, her voice humming low in her throat. "He'd be so happy to know you're here."

"I never should've left."

Both of them knew the implications behind that statement, but neither commented on it. Maria finished her soothing and then helped Kurt to his feet, taking a seat near her son's left side once Kurt was up and standing on his own. Kurt went to the other side of Blaine's bed, his watery eyes staring down at his unconscious ex. He couldn't believe the damage done to the boy – how puffy and bruised his face was, how unrecognizable he was from the swelling and discoloration. He knew that somewhere beneath the blankets lay a whole new world of injuries, ones that he didn't really think he could hear about without bursting into tears or throwing up. Gently, he placed a hand on Blaine's leg and rubbed it slowly, more tears filling up behind his lashes. He wanted nothing more in that moment than for Blaine to just open his eyes, to just make some sort of movement and let them know he was going to be okay.

But like he mentioned before: this wasn't the movies, life just didn't happen that way.

::

Kurt awoke hours later to the sound of two people arguing near him.

He opened his eyes and sat up, eyes scanning the dark room for the culprits of the angry voices, but found no one else around except for him and Blaine. Sighing, he rubbed his hand along Blaine's cold forearm and stood up, walking across the room to where the door was. Immediately, he could tell the people fighting outside were Blaine's parents... and Mr. Anderson sounded _pissed_.

"I don't know why you even allowed that kid in there with our son!"

"William, please! Blaine loves him; he would want him here!"

"Well I don't want him anywhere near Blaine. That fucking kid broke our son's heart and now he's in there holding his hand like Blaine's just going to wake up and everything will be hunky dory again!"

"Honey, it doesn't matter if you don't want him here. Blaine needs him and Kurt needs this too. I can't deny him from seeing Blaine; did you even look at his face before you left? He's been crying for _hours_, William. He regrets what happened. I forgive him and you know Blaine would too."

William scoffed, "I don't see how you can sit there and excuse that boy's actions."

"I don't see how you can sit here and tell me that having Kurt here isn't in Blaine's best interests!"

"BECAUSE IT'S NOT!" Mr. Anderson bellowed and everything went silent again. Kurt gasped and stepped away from the door, eyes flickering back to Blaine'd bed – he knew that if his ex hadn't have been in a coma, he definitely would've woken up thanks to his father's booming voice.

"William, please..."

Without warning, the door flew open and both Andersons stepped inside, Maria's eyes landing on Kurt before she followed her husband over to Blaine's bed. "Let's not do this in here."

"I want him out of here." Fingers were pointed in his direction and Kurt stepped back, eyes narrowing at his ex's father.

"Mr. Anderson-"

"I don't want you here. You need to leave."

"William, no!"

"Stay out of this!"

"No, I will not! Kurt needs to be-"

"He needs to leave! Blaine doesn't need to hurt anymore. Having _him _here will only make things worse once Blaine wakes up!"

The two continued to go at it until a door opened and a tall, scowling nurse entered the room; his eyes narrowed at the people standing near his patient's bed. "Is there a problem in here? I had a report that there was yelling going on in this room and since this is a very restricted area, we cannot have any disturbances towards our staff or our patients."

William stepped forward, one hand waving backwards at Kurt, "I want this man out of my son's room."

"Isn't this your other son?" The nurse asked wearily, staring over at Kurt with a confused look. Maria walked over and took Kurt's hand, gently rubbing her fingers along the hem of the boy's shirt.

"Yes, he's our middle child. He flew in from New York today to see his brother... he- he and his father aren't on good terms. I apologize for the interruption and it won't happen again."

The nurse still seemed skeptical, looking back and forth between Kurt and the Andersons. He was about to open his mouth and comment when Cooper stepped into the room brandishing a few cups of coffee. Cooper looked at the four standing occupants' sour expressions and frowned. "Did I miss something?"

"Your father and Kurt were fighting, honey. Perhaps you should take your brother down to the waiting room until things cool down and then we'll come and get you, okay?" She sent her oldest son a pleading look and Cooper immediately relented, setting the coffee cups down on the nightstand nearest Blaine's bed. He turned and grabbed up Kurt's hand, pulling him swiftly out of the room and down the hall towards the waiting area. Once they were out of earshot of any of the nursing staff, Cooper blew up.

"You started a fight with my father in Blaine's room?"

Kurt sneered, mind reeling from the accusation. "I didn't start _anything_! Your father must've seen me sleeping next to Blaine because one minute, everything was quiet and the next, I could hear screaming in the hallway. Your dad was the one who started fighting with everyone; I only got dragged in near the end of it."

"So you didn't start it?"

"My presence triggered everything, yes, but did I start it? _No_. Your dad's still pissed at me and yeah, he's got every right to be, I guess. But I just want to see Blaine."

"He's not going anywhere-"

"Cooper!"

"_Well, he's not_! They've got him knocked out until the brain swelling goes down and there's nothing we can do but sit here and wait."

"That still doesn't mean you should make comments like that!"

"Well maybe it helps me cope, okay?"

Kurt deflated after hearing Cooper's words and nodded, somewhat understanding but still confused. He leaned back against the wall, threw his head back, and sighed heavily, the weight of the day's events still pressing down on him. Cooper stood next to him, arms crossed and brows furrowed as he stared down the long hallway to Blaine's room.

"I know this sounds selfish, but I just want him to wake up."

"I know." Kurt whispered, wiping a few tears from his eyes, "I do too. _I do _too."

* * *

A/N: OH MY GOD, IT'S AN UPDATE! AHHHHHH!

No really. Sorry about the lack of updates recently. If any of you have been on my Tumblr (_neverluckylindy_ is my name on there), you've probably seen the updates about my computer and word processor, but for those of you who don't have Tumblr or haven't been on there, here's the gist of what's happened these last few weeks: fanfiction (aka this site) started taking stories down so I went to back mine up just in case, THEN my laptop decided to turn against me, killed its inner fan and then wiped out my word processor by DELETING ITS STUPID VERIFICATION CODE THING. So then I lost my files and had to go back and figure out what the hell happened. I ended up downloading a free word processor (that OpenOffice thing) and I got my stuff back, but I had to rewrite some stuff because a few save files didn't transfer over (how that happened, I will never know) and now I'm updating this for you from a hotel room with shotty wifi that I'm using from hotel next door because our hotel's wifi won't work on my computer and ASLKJDSDKLFJHKRJL ARGH.

So there you go. Issues all around. Hopefully I'll be able to update my other stuff while I'm down here too... emphasis on the _hopefully_ part of that sentence.

Lemme know what you thought of the chapter or leave suggestions on how to fix things if you didn't like it. Thanks! :)


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything - none of the songs or artists mentioned in this fic. There we go.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia.

* * *

**Christmas Eve 2012 - Lima**

Kurt climbed out of the car and shivered as a blast of blustery wind blew into his face, knocking the air clean out of his lungs. He knew that he should've been used to the cold, snowy winters of Ohio, especially since they came early, lasted for months, and dropped foot upon foot of snow onto the state's many occupants, but after a few barely snowy weeks in New York, he just wasn't prepared. After getting the phone call about Blaine, it was like his life had been uprooted, turned upside down, and left to fend for itself and he hadn't had the time, nor the willpower to even care what he tossed into a bag to bring with him back home; thus Rachel had been the one to pack his bag and in her haste and emotional state of mind, she neglected to pack anything of use for the harsh Ohio winter. Adding to that, nothing that had been left back home seemed to fit anymore, so for days Kurt went out in old, tight clothes much more suited for cool autumn nights than the freezing temperatures currently overtaking the state.

However, no matter how chilly he was, nothing at that point of time was more important than being able to be by Blaine's side.

At the moment, Kurt was coming in fresh from a visit at the hospital, having spent the entire afternoon curled up by Blaine's bed; for hours his eyes blankly watched the heart monitor tick away as the rest of the hospital (and the world, no doubt) moved on around him. Blaine was still unconscious - had been for a couple days now - and really showed no signs of waking up, something that made Kurt's heart ache every time a doctor, nurse, or family member brought it up. Just the idea that Blaine might never wake up chilled Kurt to the very core and despite the fact that he was battling exhaustion and felt like he was getting sick, he made it his goal to be at the hospital every day to be next to Blaine, to just be able to be there to offer support, hold Blaine's hand, and hope for the best.

Hell, ever since he touched down in Ohio, Kurt had spent every free moment he had at the hospital, one hand holding Blaine's cold, carefully bandaged ones as he sat quietly by his ex-boyfriend's side. For days Kurt waited for just a simple sign that things were going to be okay, that Blaine was going to wake up and be back to the old, happy-go-lucky boy he always was, but as the hours passed, nothing changed. Blaine remained in a coma and Kurt's world was at a stand still.

It had only been a day since the doctors took Blaine off of the medication used to keep him in a medically induced coma, citing that his head injuries weren't as severe as originally thought and that he should awaken soon, but the boy had shown no signs of waking up. Everything seemed like it was okay brainwave wise, but Blaine just wasn't waking up – and _that_ had everyone worried, especially Blaine's family _and_ Kurt. And while Kurt had his way of handling Blaine's unconscious state (which included nightly vigils at his bedside, singing softly to the unconscious boy and telling him untold stories about New York), the Andersons had their own way of dealing, ways that Kurt saw day in and day out during his time spent at the hospital.

Mrs. Anderson would sit next to Kurt in the room sometimes, humming low in her throat as she ran her hands up Blaine's stiff, bruised forearms. She would randomly burst out into funny tales of Blaine's childhood, about how he would get so excited at Christmastime and would want to bake cookies every single day, or how he would demand Cooper take him out sledding even though the ground was bone dry with no snow. Kurt would just smile and stare at his ex's relaxed face, his mind conjuring up images of a tiny, anxious Blaine tugging on a teenaged Cooper's arm whining about snow and sledding and fun. It was during these tender moments that Kurt was able to get a better understanding of the way the Anderson family worked. Sure, he had dated Blaine for over a year and a half, but during their time together, the Andersons had been a sort of a mystery to him, even after meeting the whole family and learning more about their dynamic. Just spending these last few days alone in a room with Mrs. Anderson and Cooper taught Kurt more about the family than any of their dinner meetings or random discussions ever had.

However, despite being around the Andersons more, Kurt still had his issues with Mr. Anderson. William would scoff every time Kurt would enter the room, then he would up and disappear for a few hours, only to return when Kurt was about to leave. Kurt even tried to persuade the man to stay, but William refused each time, muttering "You should not be here" under his breath as he left.

Cooper also had a hard time being in the room for longer than an hour. Every time Maria started up on her stories about her boys' younger days, Cooper would exit the room, leaving Kurt to wonder to himself if the memories were too much for Coop sometimes. After the elder Anderson brother's outburst upon Kurt's arrival at the hospital – and subsequent confession to not being an attentive older brother, Cooper seemed more downtrodden than ever, as if he felt guilty about what happened, as if he blamed himself.

He wasn't the only one who had those feelings though. The weight of guilt was also heavy on Kurt's shoulders and had been since the second those awful words about the incident spilled out of Rachel's mouth.

Trying (and failing) to shrug a tiny bit of guilt from his frame, Kurt sucked in a heaving breath as he shut the car door and shuffled up the slick walkway, arms straight out as he struggled to keep himself from falling face first on the pavement. As he walked, he took in the sight of the glistening Christmas lights that decorated the front of the house and sighed.

_Blaine should be here with me. We should be celebrating Christmas together._

Frowning in thought, he stomped his feet to knock the snow from his boots and stepped into the house, slamming the door as a particularly powerful gust of wind blew a bunch of snow into the foyer.

"Kurt, bud, is that you?"

"Yeah, dad."

Burt came out of the kitchen, his eyes sweeping across his son's tired features. It was obvious, based on the look on Kurt's face, that nothing had changed at the hospital. Knowing this, Burt didn't question anything; instead, he patted his boy on the shoulder and offered him something to eat, knowing damn well Kurt wouldn't eat anything anyway.

Kurt refused as expected.

"Well, there's leftovers from lunch in the fridge if you want anything. We got some food from that deli down the road. Feel free to help yourself... or you could wait until Carole and Finn come back with Christmas dinner. They went to get one of them pre-cooked turkey dinners from that one place you like – what's it called? Charlie's? Yeah, they went there."

Kurt nodded, not caring what kind of food they were getting since his appetite went kaput in recent days, and slipped into the living room. He carelessly tossed himself down on the couch face first and laid in silence for a moment, only listening to the sounds of his dad's footsteps go back into the kitchen. Burt was probably busy making phone calls, as he had been doing so ever since Blaine's attack. It was no surprise to anyone that word had gotten out that a friend of Congressman Hummel's son had been attacked. It became a hot topic around their area – probably around all of Ohio, no doubt – and the media around Lima began to buzz with talk of a possible hate crime and what not. Kurt himself had ignored the news reports, phone calls, and questions that came his way. All he wanted was for the people who did this to Blaine to be caught and for his ex to just wake up and show everyone that it would be alright. He didn't want to see or hear people talking about that _brutal, heinous_ attack in Westerville. He didn't want to hear anymore details about the blood covered snow on the side of the interstate or anything else related to scene of the crime.

He saw enough evidence every single day that he went to the hospital and stared down at Blaine's unmoving, broken form. He didn't need any more reminders... actually he wasn't sure if he could even bear to hear of it anymore without wanting to throw up. It was bad enough seeing Blaine like that. It was a lot to take in and deal with, but that's what he did: he dealt.

Sighing, Kurt rolled over onto his back and stared across the darkened living room at the unplugged Christmas tree. In the darkness it seemed out of place, much too cheery for such a drab, dim area. He stared across at the glimmering tinsel and garland, his eyes pinpointing the mismatched colors of the decorative bulbs even in the darkness. One ornament in particular leapt out at him and his stomach coiled in response at the memory that assaulted him: it was a Pinocchio ornament.

::

**January 2012**

"_You do realize that Christmas was over two weeks ago, right?"_

"_Shush your mouth, silly, and open your gift."_

_Kurt rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, the latter who was bouncing giddily on his toes as he watched Kurt slowly dig into the glittery gift bag._

"_You got me an ornament?"_

"_I found it today at one of those after Christmas sales! My mom was going to take some stuff back and made me tag along. I saw this at Hallmark and had to get it for you!"_

_Kurt dropped the bag to the floor, fingers deftly prying open the box. He pulled the palm-sized ornament out of its box and chuckled at the sight. "Pinocchio, Blaine? ...really?"_

"_Remember how you told me that your mom said you reminded her of Pinocchio when you were little? Well..." Blaine blushed, his foot kicking out a tiny bit at some invisible dirt. Kurt smiled at his bashful, adorable boyfriend and gently set the ornament down on his dresser._

"_I love it," he cooed as he pulled Blaine in for a gentle kiss._

::

The Pinocchio ornament was hanging in the middle of the tree, surrounded by randomly placed bulbs and tiny pieces of glittery tinsel. In the darkness, Kurt could easily make out the wooden boy's bright blue eyes, and as he looked at it, he could imagine Blaine's bright smile from almost a year ago when he had first given it to Kurt.

_Oh Blaine..._

Wiping a few tears from his eyes, Kurt rolled off of the couch and padded over to the Christmas tree. He snuggled underneath it into a small, empty space neglected by the stacks of perfectly wrapped presents and plugged it in, staring up at the massive fake tree with all of its lights and random decorations. It was then that he noticed that it was the first year he didn't have a hand in decorating it whatsoever, but despite that fact, it still looked beautiful to him. As he watched the chasing lights dance their way across the branches, all he could think about was how everything would be more perfect if Blaine were there under the tree next to him enjoying a cup of hot chocolate and singing Christmas carols.

::

**December 1999**

"_Come on, Coop! We gotta get our lists ready for Santa!"_

_Cooper looked up, eyes narrowing at his baby brother as the little boy bounced up and down on his toes, giddy with excitement. In his small hands, Blaine held a pack of crayons, a few white envelopes, and some colored paper. His cherubic face was lit up as he smiled brightly at his big brother, the small gaps between his teeth showing off how truly young and innocent he was._

"_Come on! Momma said if we don't make a list soon, Santa won't give us no presents!"_

_Cooper rolled his eyes and slid off the bed with a thud, glaring viciously at the boy standing in his doorway. "Go away, pipsqueak. I'm busy."_

"_Nuh uh! You're layin' in bed! You've been sleepin' all day, Coop! Come on!"_

"_I said to leave, Blaine. So go!"_

_Blaine stomped his foot, face reddening as he crossed his arms, still full with paper and crayons, over his chest. "But Coop-"_

"_I'm not writing a stupid letter to Santa! He doesn't exist, you hear me? Santa isn't real! There's no such thing as Santa Claus, Blaine!"_

_The small boy's lower lip popped out immediately, trembling as his hazel eyes welled up with tears. "You take that back, Coop," he whimpered, tears slowly falling down his chubby cheeks._

"_HE'S NOT REAL! SANTA'S FAKE!"_

"_Nuh uh! He's real," Blaine sobbed._

_Cooper ignored his brother's sniffles and took one hard look at the crying child, "Mom and dad are the ones who bring us presents, you idiot. The Santa who visited gram's house last Christmas was her neighbor, Mr. Grey. Santa's not real! HE DOESN'T EXIST!"_

_All the items that Blaine had brought with him fell to the floor as the boy brought his balled up fists to his eyes. He scrubbed madly at his face before he tore off down the hallway, the sound of his wailing traveling down the hall and into Cooper's bedroom._

_In the meantime, the brooding teenager went back to laying on his bed, not giving a damn whether or not he ruined the magic of the holiday for his little brother._

::

**Christmas Eve 2012 – Westerville**

Cooper laid his head down on the table and closed his eyes, mentally willing that awful holiday memory to just go flying out of his head and never come back.

It probably wouldn't have come back to haunt him if it weren't for the fact that he overheard his parents talking about how different it was going to be 'celebrating' Christmas that year. He was just about to step into the room with a few cups of coffee when he heard his mom comment on the fact that things changed right around Blaine's fifth or sixth Christmas - when he suddenly thought making Christmas lists was for babies and didn't want to go see Santa anymore. His father attributed the change as being a part of Blaine's growing up process, but neither of them knew that the real reason Blaine had changed that Christmas was because of Cooper and his big mouth.

Back then, he would've blamed his blow up on the fact that a girl he liked turned him down for a date, but now he wondered to himself if he would've spoiled the surprise for Blaine even if the girl had said yes. Sighing, he stretched his arms out over the slightly sticky cafeteria table and stared at the few occupants in the room. A young couple sat a few tables away from him, barely talking as they quickly ate and across from them sat a woman who nursed her own cup of coffee. As he carefully (and discreetly) studied the cafeteria's occupants, Cooper's ears picked up a shout from behind him at the server's station.

"Hey Heather, turn the tv on or something. It's too quiet in here for Christmas Eve!"

The girl Cooper assumed was Heather reached down below her cash register and grabbed up a remote, switching on the few tvs scattered on the walls around the room. She began flicking through the channels at a rapid pace, obviously looking for something Christmas-y to watch, but after a few seconds, she slowed down and gradually went through each channel. She was almost through her first pass when she paused over one of the public access stations. "Laura! Hey Laura! The PA network is showing that one Christmas special from that Lima school – what was it... _McKinley_? - again, you wanna watch it?"

Cooper's ears rang at the sound of _McKinley._ He looked up at the screen across from him and almost screamed at the sight of his baby brother beaming into the camera, Kurt standing across from him as he adjusted Blaine's bowtie.

_Oh God, Blaine._

The announcer went through the rest of the cast and talked about Breadstix sponsoring the special and then there was Blaine, looking incredibly dashing in old school black-and-white coloring, sitting on the windowsill and watching the snow fall as he sang. Kurt came up behind him, brushing his hand over Blaine's shoulder before he took a seat and joined in on the song which Cooper immediately recognized as _Let It Snow_. Eyes watering, he stood up from his table and made his way across the room towards a table closer to the biggest tv in the cafeteria; behind him, his coffee sat neglected.

"Blaine-"

"Wait, this is _your_ Blaine?" A voice asked from the back of the room. Cooper turned and stared at the familiar face - one of the cafeteria workers, a nice older woman named Francine who he had opened up to just a few nights before over the last few drags of coffee. The woman came up and sat down beside him. Her eyes were expressive with sadness as she closed a soft, gentle hand over top of his own. "He's a handsome fella. What a voice too."

"Thank you," Cooper whispered, looking back up at the screen to watch his brother and Kurt sing and dance on-screen. He could feel Francine's fingers tighten around his hand and he instantly felt grateful for the calming contact. "He's gonna be a star someday."

"I'm sure he will be."

::

**November 2002**

"_Cooper, where's your brother?"_

"_Heck if I know. I just got here, remember?"_

_Maria smiled and kissed the top of her eldest son's head, reaching past him to grab up the full hamper of laundry. "And I'm glad you're home, but I need help finding your brother. He's disappeared and I have no idea where he went."_

"_Aren't you supposed to keep tabs on that, mom?" Cooper joked as he tossed the rest of his dirty clothing on the floor and plopped down on his bed, sprawling out like a starfish. "Blaine's eight years old; you're supposed to make sure he doesn't pack a bag and run away or go looking for strangers with candy or something. You know how weird he is, he'd do it too!"_

"_Cooper William, don't you dare say that. Blaine's special-"_

"_Yeah, special ed-"_

"_Cooper! Now you hush! I don't ever want to hear you say that anywhere near Blaine, you understand me?" Maria sighed heavily and adjusted the heavy basket on her hip. "Blaine's a sensitive boy. He'll be heartbroken if you say things like that to him."_

"_Whatever," Cooper muttered as he crossed his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. "I'm taking a nap. College is exhausting. Wake me when dinner's ready."_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Please wake me when dinner's ready. That better, mom?"_

_His mother grumbled under her breath and shuffled out of the room with his laundry, leaving Cooper to rest. For an hour he slept peacefully, but then the sound of someone singing rather loudly filtered in through the open door and Cooper sat up, angrily rubbing at his tired eyes._

"_Damnit, who's singing?!" He threw his feet over the bed and stood up with a burst of energy from God knows where, tearing down the hall in a fit of rage over his disturbed slumber. However, his pace slowed when he found himself outside of Blaine's bedroom where he could hear his little brother singing along to something on the radio._

It doesn't matter if they won't accept you  
I'm accepting of you and the things you do  
Just as long as it's you  
Nobody but you, baby, baby

"_Janet Jackson?" Cooper muttered to himself as he pressed close to the closed door. It was easy to recognize the song given the fact he had heard it on the radio thousands of times, but never had he imagined it to be something Blaine would listen to. Carefully, he opened the door with just enough room to peek through and grinned when he spotted his little brother sitting cross-legged on the bed, an open CD case sitting before him._

_It was a Janet Jackson CD._

_Blaine flipped through the booklet, eyes still bright as he sang along to the song blasting from his stereo. Cooper watched as the boy bopped around on the bed – and in perfect rhythm this time, much better than he did during his Hanson dancing days – and sang along with Janet's soft, breathy voice. Funny thing was, Blaine's voice mixed well with hers._

_Cooper continued to observe his brother sing and waited until the very last notes of the song rang out before he dramatically threw open the door and jumped into the bedroom. At the sight of him, Blaine screamed, grabbed up the CD case, and jumped clean off of the bed, dashing across the room to his closet._

"_COOPER!"_

"_Hey Blainey, whatcha doin'?"_

"_Get out, Coop! Go away!"_

"_Ahh, no can do baby bro. I'm home for Thanksgiving and I know you missed me since I've been off at UCLA, so here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna sit down, talk about the last few months I've been gone, and then you're gonna tell me why you're hiding a Janet Jackson CD in your room."_

"_I'm not hiding it," the eight year old whispered as he clutched the case to his chest. "I bought it with my a-allowance."_

"_Out of all the singers in the world you picked Miss Jackson?"_

"_I like her!" Blaine sputtered, eyes narrowing. "I like all the Jacksons!"_

"_Okay, okay, good for you. But seriously now, there are so many awesome rap or rock groups out there and you went the pop route? What kind of little boy are you?"_

"_What's that mean?" Blaine asked, his brow furrowing as he stepped closer to Cooper. "I can like whatever music I want. I don't have to listen to rap just 'cause I'm a boy."_

"_I never said that," Cooper backtracked, raising his hands in surrender at his brother. He waited until Blaine backed off a little before he continued, "I'm just wondering when your music tastes changed. Last time I was here, you liked Nelly. When'd that change?"_

"_I still like Nelly," Blaine said softly as he fell to his knees and dug out a shoebox from under the bed. He popped the box open and held it out to Cooper, beaming when his brother took it with a smile. "See? Nelly's in there and Avril and Usher and lots of people."_

"_I see that."_

"_Mom says my music taste's electric."_

"_Eclectic-"_

"_Yeah that."_

_Cooper sifted through the CDs and smirked to himself, pawing his way through a pretty nifty collection of women singers. "Nice collection."_

"_Thanks," Blaine smiled, blushing. He sat down on the bed next to his brother and sighed. "Did you hear me sing?"_

"_I did. You woke me up, which by the way means I owe you this," and before he finished the sentence, he tossed Blaine's shoebox on the bed and socked his little brother in the arm, causing Blaine to cry out and swat back._

"_Oww Coop!"_

"_Next time you should take into consideration that your brother's flight got in late and he's tired, you little punk. Now keep it down until dinner, I'm going back to bed." He stood and ran out of the room, not missing the evil look his glaring brother was giving him as he left either._

_It wasn't until he got back into his bedroom that he thought to himself that one day, his little dweeb of a brother might just become famous, especially if his voice sounded _that_ good at such a young age._

::

**Lima**

Kurt stood still, eyes wide and watery, as he took in the scene on the television screen. He had been laying under the tree for quite a while when he finally got sick of the quiet and flicked on the tv, but now after seeing what was being played, he wondered if he might've made a huge mistake. Because there on the screen was Blaine, bright eyed and smiley, bouncing around as he sang a Christmas duet with none other than Kurt. Both boys, decked out in stylish 1950's black-and-white, flirted and sang as they danced around the set and as their song continued, Kurt found his heart breaking into a thousand little pieces.

The memories of recording that Christmas special, as well as the events that happened both before and after it came flying out of nowhere and took over Kurt's mind as he watched his tv self sing with Blaine. Emotions running high, Kurt's hands unclenched themselves from around the remote and it fell to the floor with a clatter as he doubled over and collapsed to his knees, eyes still glued to the television as he started to sob brokenly.

From his position in the kitchen, Burt jumped up the second he heard his son's heartbreaking cries from the other room. He bid a hasty goodbye to the news reporter he was talking to on the phone and dashed from the room at record speed, skidding to a halt in the entryway of the living room where he found Kurt staring up at the tv.

"Kurt, what's wrong?"

The boy didn't speak, instead he sucked his lower lip into his mouth and bit back a distraught cry as a familiar voice came crooning out of the television.

"Blaine? …what?" Burt turned to look at the screen and sighed heavily when he finally saw what had Kurt all worked up. His eyes flickered back and forth from the screen to his son and he frowned, walking over to where his upset child sat. "Kurt, bud, do you want me to turn this off?"

"…no."

Burt nodded and sat down on the floor next to Kurt, gathering his son up in his arms as the boy silently shed tears over the bright, charismatic boy on screen spoke.

Both Hummel men sat like that through the entire special, silent and attentive even after Carole and Finn came in with Christmas dinner, dropped the bags off in the dining room, and joined them on the floor to watch. It may not have been the most conventional way to celebrate the evening, but given the situation, it worked and Kurt was extremely thankful for the support system he had. He was grateful that his parents didn't question him when he bundled back up to head back to the hospital, he was grateful that Carole shoveled a bag of Christmas goodies into his hands to give to the nurses and Blaine's family, and he was especially grateful that his father stopped him at the door and put on his own coat, ready to drive his son back to Westerville because 'no one should have to deal with this at Christmas.'

::

Later that night, when Burt went off to have cookies and coffee with Cooper and Mrs. Anderson, Kurt slipped back into Blaine's room and took his usual seat beside the boy's bed. He took his ex's bandaged hand into his own (with his bubblegum wrapper promise ring sitting proudly on his ring finger) and kissed each discolored, bruised fingertip, whispering promises and Christmas wishes with each press of his lips to Blaine's broken skin.

"You want to know what I asked for this Christmas, Blaine?" Kiss.

"I want you to wake up and get better. That's my wish-" Kiss.

"-because all I want for Christmas is you-" Kiss.

"-and I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true." Kiss.

"Because there's nothing more in this world that I want more than you and I know that now. I've been so stupid; I've been such an idiot and I just want you to wake up so I can tell you that, so I can tell you that I love you so much and I never want us to be apart ever again. _Ever_, Blaine. Hell, I don't even know if you'll forgive me for what I did, but I hope you do, I really hope. So please, Blaine, please wake up." Kiss.

He sat back and stared down at the silent, peacefully sleeping boy beside him and sighed, tears welling up in his eyes once more. Quietly, he began to sing the Carpenters' _Merry Christmas, Darling_ under his breath as he laid his head next to Blaine's thigh, his hair carelessly flopping over onto Blaine's hand as he nuzzled against it.

"Merry Christmas, darling. I love you."

* * *

A/N: Can I just start off by saying how sorry I am for not updating this (or any of my fics) for over two months? I really did have plans to get most of these stories done before the summer ended, but then someone I loved very, very much and cared dearly for passed away in mid-July and everything just went to hell in a hand basket. All my ideas went rolling out of my head and they didn't come back and it took me until this week to be able to just open a word processor and type this and even then, I don't really feel satisfied, but I'm hoping this update is suitable. I really do apologize for taking so long though; I just needed some time to gather up my thoughts after everything, you know? Anyways, if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a PM on here or at my Tumblr. Thanks for reading. I hope to have another update up soon.


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything - none of the songs or tv shows mentioned in this fic. There we go.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia. THIS IS A SEASON 4 AU!

* * *

**January 2013**

Kurt slipped into the quiet hospital room, his foot carefully pushing the doorway closed as he stepped inside and took a quick look at the room's occupants. Blaine still lay sleeping in his bed, his bruised face looking young and tired under the dim yellow lighting; next to him sat Cooper and Mrs. Anderson, both looking worse for wear as they sat their usual vigil next to Blaine.

"Hi guys," Kurt greeted softly. He held out a tray of coffee and waited until the others grabbed theirs before he discarded the tray and took a sip of his own. "Anything change?"

"Nope, Blaine's still immobile as a rock. Like… seriously, Kurt? What were you expecting? For him to have miraculously woken up and be waiting for a good morning kiss from you?!"

"Cooper!" Mrs. Anderson started, sputtering on her coffee as she watched her eldest son blow his gasket.

"No, mom, honestly… we have to look at the big picture here: Blaine's _not_ waking up! It's been two weeks since he's been in here. The doctor said he was probably gonna wake up soon _last week_. And _look_, he's still in a coma! Nothing's happening! He's not waking up!" Cooper rose from his seat, his face burning red with emotion, and left the room in a huff, coffee still in hand. As soon as he shut the door, Kurt shook himself out of being stunned at the outburst, plopped down into Cooper's vacated seat, and took Maria's hand into his own.

"It'll be okay, Mrs. Anderson. He just-"

"I just wish he wouldn't give up so quickly. He should remember how hard it was for Blaine to wake up after he was beaten back then. My little boy's a fighter, but sometimes he needs time to rest. He just needs more time."

"I know," Kurt whispered as he released Maria's hand and took Blaine's, his thumb running over the dry skin of Blaine's palm. "I want him to wake up just as much as Cooper does… but if Blaine's body needs to recuperate, then maybe this is for the best." He sipped his drink and let his eyes travel over his ex's still form, slowly taking in the slightly healing cuts that decorated Blaine's arms and his face. The more and more he stared, the angrier he got that the people who did this were still running free.

It just wasn't fair to him that someone could have so much _hate_ in their heart that they would want to seriously hurt someone, want to _kill_ somebody because of the way they love.

::

**April 2011**

_Kurt wiped at his eyes, his gaze downcast as he tried to steady his breathing. He knew he probably looked ridiculous, standing there in his prom attire - kilt and all - as he cried, but he couldn't help it, not after what Blaine had just confessed to him._

_There he was, flipping out earlier because Blaine agreed with his father about his outfit for prom, but in all reality, Blaine wasn't ashamed of his outfit… Blaine was scared over what could happen to them._

_He had told Kurt about Sadie Hawkins, about how he and his date went together as friends and how they ended up in the hospital, fighting for their lives just because some assholes didn't deem their 'lifestyle' worthy. That was all; Blaine wasn't ashamed of Kurt's ensemble, in fact he loved it, but he was scared. Terrified, even… and Kurt had been too selfish too notice._

_Wiping away the rest of his tears, he climbed onto the bed beside his boyfriend and gathered Blaine's face into his hands, pressing his lips against Blaine's own in a wet, emotional kiss._

_No matter what, as long as he and Blaine were together, he would never, ever allow anyone to hurt Blaine like he had been hurt in the past._

_Ever._

::

After a few minutes of not speaking, Mrs. Anderson wiped her wet eyes, told Kurt she was going to go get something to eat, and left the room. As soon as she was gone, Kurt set his cooling coffee on the nightstand and scooted closer to Blaine's side, laying his head against Blaine's hand as he stared up at the sleeping boy.

_I promised to never let anyone hurt you. I promised to never say goodbye to you. God, I failed you, didn't I? …didn't I, Blaine?_

_I failed you so much._

Tears trickled down the side of Kurt's face as he nuzzled Blaine's hand. He mentally berated himself for the things he had done (or failed to do) these last few months and grew disgusted at the fact that not once during the time this was all happening had he even thought of Blaine - well, he _always_ thought of Blaine, but the night that this happened, he was worrying about something so trivial, worrying about a teeny role in a crappy student play. He was worried about _himself_, much like he had been during the last few months, and in the meantime, Blaine was getting the shit kicked out of him. Out there on the interstate that night, Blaine was being beaten to death by some assholes and Kurt was in New York running lines for a play… running lines with a _guy _who may or may not have a crush on him.

Just the thought made him queasy.

But even though he was so disappointed in himself, Kurt also found the worst thing about it all was that those _monsters_ who did this to Blaine were still out there somewhere, living their lives and enjoying themselves; while in the meantime, Blaine's family and friends were stuck in limbo, just waiting for Blaine to open his eyes and let everyone know he was okay.

God, it was a little over two weeks since the incident happened, just a few days since the New Year came rolling in, and _still_ the police were looking for leads on who could have possibly attacked Blaine on the side of the road. According to the Andersons, they were told that the cops had some evidence, fingerprints and the like, from Blaine's bloody clothing, as well as some that were found on Blaine's car. But now they were also looking to video surveillance from the Westerville Mall just to see if they could find out if the attack was premeditated and if Blaine's attackers had followed him from the mall. When Mrs. Anderson told him that news, all Kurt could hope for was that the police would have some leads quick because he was sure he was going to burst from his anger at the whole situation very, very soon.

That or have a complete mental breakdown.

::

**A few days earlier… December 31****st****, New Years Eve**

"_Remember how when I first moved to New York, we would talked about you coming up to go to Times Square with me? Remember that? God, I wish we were both there now instead of here, you know? I…I really think you'd love New York. I know we had planned for you to come see it, but I ruined that, didn't I?" He laughed humorlessly, "God, Blaine, it's like the world stopped spinning when Rachel told me what happened. I haven't been able to think of anything else but you. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even function properly. Do you know how many times I've almost cut myself shaving? Thousands, Blaine. Thousands!"_

_He stared down at their joined hands and sighed._

"_You know, you were supposed to be in New York with me tonight and we were supposed to watch the ball drop and kiss and then illegally drink champagne and I was supposed to tease you about getting drunk near Rachel because we all know your track record about getting drunk around women and… and now look at us. You- you've missed Christmas and now you're missing New Years and I know you are going to be so pissed when you wake up because Christmas is one of your favorite holidays and if you don't wake up by Valentine's, I just- I don't know what-"_

_He sucked in a deep, shuddering breath and let his eyes travel from Blaine's prone form to the wintry scene that played outside the hospital window. Snow glittered in the air and swept along the windowsill as the cold wind thrashed outside; a shiver ran up Kurt's spine at the sight and he unconsciously began rubbing his hands against Blaine's as if to warm them somehow, as if he could keep the chill away from the unconscious boy._

_He sobbed out loud when he realized what he was doing._

"_God, Blaine! This- this wasn't supposed to happen! You're supposed to be awake and healthy a-and you were supposed to be celebrating this with me!"_

_On the tv screen, the sounds of people cheering in the streets of Times Square filled Kurt's ears._

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

_He leaned down, brushing his hand over Blaine's messy curls, and kissed Blaine's rough, wind burnt lips quickly, his body still racked with sobs as the excited screams of people in New York celebrating the incoming new year rained around him._

::

"Hey, can we talk?"

Cooper slid into the room, his hands raised in surrender as he walked up to his brother's bed and took a seat in the empty chair across from Kurt.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"It's okay," Kurt murmured, rubbing at his tired eyes. He barely looked at Cooper, instead focusing his blurred gaze onto the slight rise and fall of Blaine's chest. "Tension's running high, right?"

"No… no, Kurt, I never should've flipped out on you like that. You're just a kid and-"

"So's Blaine-"

"Kurt, don't-"

"Don't what? He is. Blaine's my age. He's a kid too."

Cooper ran a hand over his face, his features fatigued and weary from the lack of sleep he had been dealing with. He hadn't slept properly since he first landed in Ohio. He rubbed his scruffy chin and yawned, "I don't know what you're trying to get at, Kurt, and I'm really not understanding you right now, but I _need_ you to listen… I'm sorry, okay? I never should've snapped at you when you first got here this morning. That's, ummm, that's all I've been doing with you: snapping and shit. You don't deserve it. You didn't put Blaine here-"

"Yes, I did."

"Oh for fuck's sake, you did not! You had nothing to do with this. Some asshole did this, not you. I wish you'd quit blaming yourself!"

Kurt slumped in his chair, "If I hadn't have broken up with him, he would've remembered to shop for Christmas, but he forgot because he was upset and that's why he was out that night. That's why he got caught up in this mess. It was _my_ fault, Cooper. _Mine_."

Cooper rested his elbows on Blaine's bed and leaned forward, planting his face into his hands, "Well then if you're to blame because you broke up with him, then I'm to blame because I never answered his calls. Mom and Dad are to blame because they didn't kick his ass into shape and make him go out instead of mope all day. We're all to blame here, Kurt. You see what I'm saying?"

Kurt rubbed at his eyes and shook his head, "Quit trying to make me feel better. Blaine's in a coma and you want to play the blame game. Well, you know what? I'm not here for that."

"Blaine wouldn't want you to blame yourself. He wouldn't want any of us to be beating ourselves up - whoa, bad description there - about this. He'd want us to just be here until he gets better and to help the police find whoever did this to him. That's all. You know Blaine... you know he wouldn't want us fighting and blaming ourselves for every little thing."

Kurt gave a half-hearted attempt at a smile and shrugged, trailing his fingers along the hemline of Blaine's hospital gown sleeve. "Whatever you say, Cooper," he said softly as he brushed his palm over Blaine's stubbly cheek. He chuckled at the feel of the severe five o' clock shadow against his hand and cupped Blaine's cheek, "Your brother's getting a bit scruffy lookin', honey," he whispered, "You two match."

"Are you talking to me?" Cooper joked, barking out a laugh as Kurt shot an icy glare at him. A few seconds ticked by until Kurt joined him in laughter, the two settling down after a few minutes when they got a harsh reality check of Blaine's situation as a nurse stepped into the room.

"Something funny, boys?" The nurse questioned, an eyebrow raised as she walked over to Blaine's heart monitor and flipped through his chart. When neither man answered her, she just tutted her tongue against the roof of her mouth and scribbled down a few notes before leaving, abandoning the two quiet men to the eerie silence of the room.

The only sounds other than their breathing came from the many monitors hooked up to the boy they were there to visit.

::

**June 1994**

_A soft cry pierced the muggy, night summer air and Cooper's eyes popped open in a second._

_He sat up straight, his Power Ranger sleeping bag unzipping downward as he craned his neck to stare intensely at the blinking walkie talkie-like device that lay on the nightstand next to his mother's side of the bed. It blinked again in rapid succession as a high pitched snuffling sound rang through it, followed by a few mewling cries. Cooper took a few more moments to tune in, listening as the sounds of his baby brother's cries blended in with the loudness of his father's snoring and his mother's mumbled sleep talk. He waited a few seconds longer before he finally slid out of his sleeping bag and tip-toed to his parent's bed. He gathered the flashing monitor up in one hand, crept out of the room, and down the hall to the nursery, his eyes sparkling in delight when he spotted his little brother's tiny fist punch the air._

_Blaine wailed loudly, his little legs kicking the air as he screamed. Cooper dropped the monitor on the floor next to the rocking chair and ran over to the crib, standing a little bit on his tiptoes to look down at the crying baby inside. He grinned when Blaine's tears subsided and turned to quiet whimpers, the baby's brown eyes staring up at him as he leaned down over the crib._

"_Aww, Blainey, don't cry," Cooper cooed, stretching to his full height to reach his arms down inside the crib and easily lift Blaine into his arms. The baby squirmed in his grasp and he smiled wider, tucking the little boy into the tender crook of his elbow as he slowly walked over to the rocking chair and settled himself into it. He rocked gently, humming the theme song to Ducktales under his breath as he cradled his baby brother against his chest. Blaine's soft whines quickly faded away as the baby snuggled against him and Cooper beamed with pride over the fact that, at only ten years old, he already had the magic touch to quiet his little brother._

_Unfortunately, his private moment was interrupted when a scruff, tired, "Cooper, what on earth are you doing?" came from the doorway and he looked up to find his dad staring at him, eyes still clouded over with sleep._

"_I'm just keeping Blainey safe, daddy," Cooper whispered, bringing his free hand to his lips to shush his father. William stared down at his oldest son with fondness, stepping in closer to ruffle Cooper's hair while he kissed Blaine's downy black curls._

"_Thanks, Coop. Your mom and I appreciate the help."_

"_It's okay. I love him," Cooper said unabashedly, smiling down at the sleeping baby. "He's pretty cool."_

::

That night after Kurt had left, Cooper found himself humming the theme song to _Ducktales_, his blue eyes fixated on the flashing and beeping of his little brother's heart monitor. He listened to the quiet snores of his dad, who had fallen asleep in an armchair against the window as soon as he arrived at the hospital hours before, mix with the muffled sounds of his mom's prayers and he wished to himself that for once in his life, things were simpler. That he was ten years old again and waking up in the middle of the night to check on his baby brother.

That Blaine was okay and that he had fulfilled his promise to keep him _safe_ and to have watched over him properly like a big brother should.

But he didn't and things weren't that easy.

* * *

A/N: Well, well, well, look who's updated. Sorry for the delay; it's just so hard to write when the couple/show you're writing about has destroyed your very soul and makes you want to punch something when you think about them/it. Anyway, I hope you at least somewhat liked this update. I know it seems like Kurt and Cooper have a little bit of a problem with the blame game (against themselves) going on right now, but they're both very emotional and upset still and things don't seem to be getting better, so... can you blame them? I promise things will start to change though in the next few chapters!

Also, for those of you who are just tuning into this story, please note that this is a SEASON FOUR AU. Kurt doesn't work for Vogue; his apartment with Rachel in this fic isn't exactly like the one they live in on the show; Brody isn't a huge part of this storyline; AND BLAINE DIDN'T CHEAT IN THIS FIC! I started writing this way before the season aired and not once had Blaine cheating ever crossed my mind; I imagined Kurt getting caught up in NYC and breaking it off and that was that, but noooooooo Glee decided to pull the rug right out from under me and now I'm a spiraling hot mess!

Anywho, I digress. Sorry for the long author's note. Please leave some feedback and if you have any questions, shoot me a line on here or tumblr! Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything - none of the songs or tv shows mentioned in this fic. There we go.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia. THIS IS A SEASON 4 AU!

A/N: This chapter takes place a few days AFTER Chapter 9!

* * *

"A non-fat mocha for Kurt!"

The barista smiled when Kurt stepped forward and claimed his cup of coffee; she was one of the regular workers, one that Kurt and Blaine had gotten to know quite well over their year or so of getting coffee at the Bean and no matter what, she always served them with a smile. Which was what she was doing now and the fact that her smile was genuine – not forced like the many Kurt had been on the receiving end of these last few weeks – was a breath of fresh air. Ever since he had landed in Ohio a few weeks ago, everyone had been walking on egg shells around him, as if he was two seconds away from shattering completely.

But he wasn't. Sure his body was numb and his heart ached over the fact that the person he loved the most was fighting for his life in a Westerville hospital, but no matter what, Kurt was going to be okay.

Or at least that's what he kept on telling himself.

That's what his father and Carole and Finn and everyone else said. That's what Blaine's mother and Cooper and the workers at the hospital told him.

Everything was going to be okay. Blaine would wake up eventually and everything would be just fine.

Kurt just had to keep reminding himself of that every single morning when he woke up to the news that Blaine was still unconscious. But, it was going to be alright... because it just had to be.

"Thank you," Kurt said softly, taking the coffee from the barista with a small, wooden smile. He blinked in confusion when a tiny plate of biscotti was slid in front of him, the barista nodding as she pushed the plate forward.

"It's on the house. Cherry-vanilla-pistachio biscotti. Something new we just started baking."

"I can't take-"

"No please," the barista insisted, stepping away from Kurt and the fore-offered dessert. "You and Blaine are probably the only people who really love our biscotti and since this is a new recipe, I'd be honored if you were the first to try it. I know that you haven't really been eating it much since-" She paused and swallowed thickly, "I just think Blaine would be so excited to try this new flavor and I thought that you'd like to have it so that you can tell him about it when he wakes up. And if you like it, I'll give you some to take to him when he does."

Kurt almost wanted to scream, wanted to yell at the girl for even talking about Blaine like that, like she knew what was going on. But the thing was, she did. Everyone knew about Blaine now. It was all over the news that a teenage boy had been attacked outside of Westerville and that it was being considered a hate crime. It was everywhere that the boy was a friend of Kurt's and therefore a friend of Congressman Burt Hummel and that had caused a peak in publicity. There were people everywhere wanting to get a story and for the first few weeks after the attack, Kurt and the Andersons had to keep their guard up over people wanting to interview them. Kurt himself was lucky that his dad had taken over fighting off the news crews and keeping the press from hounding him. Burt did his best to temper the situation and after about a week of no change with Blaine nor without any leads on his case, the media died down and things got calmer.

Everyone was also glad that the story didn't go national, though it was a severe possibility in the near future with the rate everyone in Lima was acting.

People stared at Kurt as he took the plate of biscotti and smiled at the barista. The girl returned his smile and Kurt went to sit at his normal table, plopping down in his seat with a huff. Everyone's eyes were still on him, but he ignored the looks and popped the lid off of his coffee, carefully dunking a cookie into his drink as he stared down at his dark-screened cellphone. Cooper was due to call him any minute to update him on Blaine's condition (most likely the boy was still unconscious) and then they'd probably talk about something random until Mr. Anderson showed back up in the room and Cooper would have to cut their conversation short. That's how every single discussion went: Cooper would call, talk about Blaine, then talk about something he saw on tv until William came in, and then it was bye-bye until Kurt got to the hospital hours later.

It would probably be that way until Blaine woke up too.

Sighing, Kurt lifted his now-softened biscotti out of his coffee and brought it to his lips, almost moaning when the sweet taste of cherries hit his tongue. A hint of vanilla and the nutty taste of pistachio filled his mouth as he chewed and he smiled in ecstasy, almost laughing when he thought of how Blaine's face would contort in pleasure over the yummy taste of these cookies. Chewing quickly, he swallowed and shot a thumbs up to his favorite barista, grinning when she squealed and turned back to tell her co-worker about their success.

His excitement was short lived however when his phone began to buzz. Cooper's face lit up the screen and Kurt's stomach swooped – as it always did nowadays when Cooper called.

_This could be it,_ his mind supplied. _Blaine could be waking up... or already awake... or-_

"Hello?"

"Morning, Kurt. How are things?"

Kurt's heart sunk, "He's not awake, is he?"

"Nope, not today. Sorry, man. I just got here and he's still out like a light."

"Oh."

"I do have good news though!"

"Do tell," Kurt said, sitting up in his seat. He dunked another bit of the cookie and waited with baited breath over Cooper's next few words; Cooper never had good news. Ever.

"The doctor came in earlier and did some tests on Blaine. His brain activity is stronger than it has been these last few days. Like, remember how they said that the longer he was unconscious, the scarier it'd be for us when he wakes up... or _if_ he wakes up?" He waited until Kurt hummed before he continued, "Well, I guess while he was testing Blaine today, Blaine moved a little bit and his brain waves jumped or something. I wasn't really paying very much attention because as soon as he said Blaine moved I just lost my train of thought, _but_ Blaine's getting closer to waking up! I- I just... I'm really excited, Kurt."

"Me too, Cooper. Me too."

"I just wanted to call and let you know. Dad's just getting here, so I'm gonna go and tell him what the doctor said, but I'll give you a call if anything changes, yeah?"

"Yeah, please do." Kurt bid his goodbyes to Cooper and then set his phone down on the table, his heart thudding wildly in his chest as he drummed his fingers on the table. He couldn't believe what he had just heard: _Blaine might be waking up soon!_ It was the news he had been waiting for since the second he stepped off the plane. He just wanted his ex to wake up and be okay, to be able to go back to being the usual, happy-go-lucky Blaine he always was.

But despite how much Kurt wanted that to happen, he knew Blaine would never be the same after this, not after what happened to him.

Nonetheless, no matter what the future held for Blaine (or for the two of them together, for that matter) Kurt knew that he would do his best to make it up to him. He would do his best to right all wrongdoings and if Blaine needed any help whatsoever, he was going to be there to help him out.

He just hoped Blaine wanted him there.

Taking a long drink of his coffee, Kurt was too lost in his thoughts to notice the figure looming over his table, but the second he put his cup down, he jumped. "Oh my God!"

"Oh God!" The person repeated, also jumping. "Jesus, Kurt! I didn't mean to scare you!"

Kurt raised a hand to his chest and breathed in deeply, his poor lungs fighting for some air after he practically choked on his coffee. "No, no! It's fine!" He soothed, standing up from the table. After he finally caught his breath, he looked up at the person who frightened him. "Dave, oh my god, hi! It's been so long!"

The tall, hulking figure of David Karofsky stared back at him, his dark eyes slightly sympathetic and worried. "You okay? I didn't send you flying back into any sort of traumatic flashback, did I?" He asked with bright, scared eyes.

"Oh God, no. I just wasn't expecting anyone," Kurt said, waving a hand towards the empty seat across from him (_the one Blaine usually sits at_, his mind hissed, but he ignored it.) "You want to sit?"

"Umm, sure. Thanks." Dave took Blaine's usual seat and set down his own cup of coffee, his gaze immediately darting to the table as he settled down. "Sorry for scaring you."

"It's no problem. Lots of things have been scaring me lately."

Dave's face fell. He wrapped his hands around his coffee cup tightly and sighed, "So I heard... umm, how's he doing?"

"He's still in a coma." Kurt whispered, running his finger along the rim of the cup. "His brother just called me about two minutes before you showed up. The doctors say he's probably going to wake up soon, but other than that, nothing else has happened."

"Oh. I, uh- I'm real sorry to hear about what happened. I saw it on the news when I came home for Christmas and I wanted to contact you, but I didn't know if you wanted to talk to anyone yet." Dave looked up and caught Kurt's eye, frowning when he noticed the lost, off look behind the usually expressive blue. "I'm not intruding, am I?"

"No. No, David, you're not."

"Oh. Good, I guess." The former bully laced his fingers together and looked back down at his hands, his lower lip worried between his teeth. "I know you and I have had our differences and that Anderson- _Blaine_, I mean- have not always gotten along, but we're friends now, right?"

"I thought we were and I'm sure Blaine thought we were all okay now, too."

"That's what I was thinking, but I didn't want to impose or anything... but I- Kurt, I feel really bad about what happened to Blaine, you know? He's a little guy, like small and I know he's strong, but I can't believe people would _hate_ someone so much to attack them like that."

Kurt stared into his coffee and fought back the tears and brimmed on his lashes. He could feel the fear emanating from Dave and out of the corner of his eye, he could see his friend's hands tremble from their place on the table. "Some people are true monsters. You know that just as much as I do." The meaning behind that statement was not lost on either of them; memories of last year and Dave's suicide attempt weighed fresh on their minds. Flashbacks of the hate that had been left on Dave's Facebook wall, unwanted memories of the awful things that were said in the hallways of McKinley and all over town about Dave's attempt were burned into their brains forever.

Dave nodded slowly and shrank back when Kurt's hand reached out and took his own, "I just wish this never happened."

"I know. I wish the same thing."

"I just remember you bringing Blaine in to visit me that one day and how he told me about how this same thing happened to him when he was really young and I can't help but think about how he's having to go through it all over again. He's still in high school because of what those people did and now he's missing out on his senior year because some other assholes didn't like the fact that he's gay."

Kurt just shook his head and listened, squeezing Dave's shaking hand between them.

"Blaine and I really hadn't had much to go on before, but that day, I really began to respect him and from what he said, he felt the same way about me. And now he's in the hospital and there's nothing I can do for him and I feel bad, Kurt. I do. I feel bad because I can't help him and I can't help you and ever since I saw that story about him on the news the other day, all I can think about is that shit that happened to me and how it made me feel."

"You've been triggered," Kurt said softly. Dave nodded and Kurt tightened his grip again. "It's hard, being in this position. I know it is. Have you talked to your dad about it?"

"Yeah. He asked me about you the second he saw the story as well and I told him about you and Blaine and your relationship. He's been talking with me about everything and how it makes me feel and he wants me to maybe go talk to someone when I go back to school next week."

Seeing the opportunity for a conversation change (god, it was seeming like both of them needed something else to talk about now, especially with the way Dave was looking), Kurt's eyebrow raised and he jumped into a new topic headfirst. "You're going to school? Where at?"

Dave's body immediately relaxed upon the topic change and he smiled, "Oh, ummm, I'm going to culinary school in Pittsburgh. It's not _that_ far away from home, but it's far enough, you know?"

"So... culinary school? I- I never would've guessed you liked to cook, to be honest."

"I know. Most people see me and think I just like to play sports, but I like other things too. Cooking's just one of those things. You know, my parents were always working when I came home from football practice and whatever, so sometimes I would cook dinner so that when they got home, they'd have a meal on the table. Sometimes I'd go by recipes and sometimes I'd improvise... I think that's why I decided to go into the culinary arts."

"Well, I'm impressed, David." Kurt said sincerely, shooting a smile at his friend. Dave smiled back and flushed slightly, pulling his hand away from Kurt's.

"Umm, well maybe sometime when I'm in, I can cook for you... and Blaine if you want to bring him. We can have a guys' night in or something."

"I would love that and I'm sure Blaine would too."

Dave smiled again, this time with genuine excitement and when asked about his classes in Pittsburgh, he happily told Kurt about school and what living in the city was like. Kurt regaled him with stories of New York and how he had been in the midst of trying to win a part in a show when he received the call about Blaine. Both boys also talked about how things had changed after graduation and how college was much different than they ever expected it.

And that's when Kurt dropped the bombshell.

"You guys are broken up?" Dave asked, his eyes wide in shock. Kurt shook his head and frowned.

"I regret it. I regretted it the second it happened, but in my mind, I felt like it needed to happen, you know? I was so far away from Blaine and I was so busy and neither of us seemed to have any time for the other. So I broke up with him over Thanksgiving break... it's my fault he was out that night he was attacked."

"And how in the world would it have been _your_ fault?" Dave asked curiously, his brows furrowed in question. "You weren't even in the state when it happened."

Kurt told David about how Blaine had slipped into a depression of sorts and how the boy had forgotten about Christmas from what his family and friends had said. He talked about how Blaine left to shop at Westerville that night and how it was that trip that put him in the area of the crime. "It was my fault."

"No, it wasn't. Blaine was just at the wrong place at the wrong time," Dave soothed, taking Kurt's hand into his own. "Not once was this your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I broke his heart. That was what I did wrong."

"You just said it needed to happen. If you didn't break up with him, who knows where the two of you would be now, especially with the problems you said you guys had."

"He wouldn't be in a coma, that's for sure," Kurt scoffed, tugging his hand away from Dave's. He cupped his head in his hands and breathed in deep, his lungs aching as he did so. "Blaine would probably be sitting here with me right now instead of in that hospital."

"You don't know that. You don't know if what happened would have happened any other day or not at all. You can't just sit there and blame yourself for something that occurred when you weren't even around. Shit happens, Kurt. You can't stop it sometimes and that's not your fault. What happened with Blaine wasn't your fault at all and you need to understand that."

Kurt bit his lip, struggling to find the words to say. Dave was right, but no matter what anyone had told him these last few weeks, Kurt couldn't help but feel like he was the one who caused all of this, the one who tipped over the first domino and caused the fallout. He felt like the cause of the landslide that wrecked Blaine's life; he felt like the earthquake that caused the tsunami; he felt at fault. _It was all his fault._

He was about to say something after several minutes of silence when Dave's voice softly interrupted his thoughts.

"Kurt?"

"What?"

"Your phone... it's ringing or something."

Sure enough, Kurt's phone was vibrating like mad against the table, bumping into the now empty plate of biscotti as it rumbled. Kurt's eyes widened when he saw the name and picture that displayed on the front.

_Cooper._

"Blaine's brother... that's him. He's calling."

"Well then, answer it," Dave chided, frantically waving a hand at the phone. Kurt stared at the shaking object in awe and then snapped out of his stupor, reaching forward to grab the device in his hand.

"Hello? Hello? Cooper?"

"Kurt, you need to get here right now."

"Why? Why? What's wrong?!"

Every single eye in the coffee shop turned to him. The barista from earlier was gripping the countertop, her eyes saucer-wide as she stared at Kurt in fear. Dave's mouth had fallen open with a pop as he watched Kurt with a frightened, helpless look. Something was going on on the other side of Kurt's phone and no one knew what to do.

Kurt's heart was about to burst out of his chest as he waited for Cooper to just say something. The man sounded slightly off on the other end, his voice garbled and watery and it was incredibly evident that he was crying, rather hard by the sound of it.

"Cooper? Cooper, please! What is it?"

Cooper choked back a sob and then laughed, a slight hiccup muddling his words. "K-Kurt, just get here!"

"Cooper! Please!"

"It's Blaine, Kurt! He's woken up! He's awake, Kurt! He's _awake_!"

The phone slipped from Kurt's grasp and clattered against the table as the boy leaned forward, his head falling into his hands as a sob ripped from his throat.

"Oh my god. He's awake," he cried wetly, unable to stop his tears from falling. Around the shop, people cheered. The barista hollered and burst into tears herself, hugging her co-worker, and Dave, who had been sitting there in stunned silence, wiped a few tears from his own face as he watched Kurt fall apart across from him.

"He's awake!" Kurt wailed again, "He's awake! He's awake! _Blaine's awake_!"

* * *

A/N: So it's taken me a million years to get the motivation to write this chapter and finally it came to me, so I hope it wasn't absolutely wretched for you all to read. I hope you also don't mind the little Kurtofsky friendship I threw in here. To be honest, I don't mind Dave at all. I like his character and I think Kurtofsky as friends is a lovely thing (same goes for Blainofsky – I believe the two of them would've bonded a bit over the hate they've both endured from simple minded people) and I hope that bringing Dave in in this chapter was okay with you all. I also hope I didn't murder his character too badly; I've never really written him, so this was a first for me and since we haven't seen him since OMW, who knows how he's been since then, right? Anyway, I hope this chapter was okay and I hope to have another chapter out soon. Please let me know what you think; I value your thoughts so much and I love getting reviews from you lovely people! Thanks!


	11. Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, nor am I associated with it or RIB. Actually, I just don't own anything - none of the songs or tv shows mentioned in this fic. There we go.

**Not Like This**

By: xSlythStratasfaction

Warning: This story contains harsh language, mentions of violence and gay bashing, and homophobia. THIS IS A SEASON 4 AU!

* * *

Burt rolled over, slowly maneuvering Carole's arm from around his waist as he reached out to grab his ringing cell phone from off of the bedside nightstand. Carole's eyes blinked open slowly and she too went to turn to grab the phone, only stopping when Burt pressed his free hand to her wrist.

"I've got it. That's Kurt."

Carole nodded and sunk back down into the warm blankets, eyes still warily watching Burt as he brought the phone to his ear and answered.

"Bud?"

"...dad?"

If there was anything in the world more terrifying than hearing your son's tear-filled voice on the phone, it was hearing him sobbing when you've just barely woken up and are hardly functioning. As soon as Kurt's voice shook through the other side of the line, Burt sat up straight and gripped the comforter tight between his fingertips.

"Kurt, what is it? What's wrong?"

Carole popped up and turned to look at Burt with wide, scared eyes. She reached a hand across the bed and took Burt's clenched one within her own, "Burt, honey, what's going on?"

"I don't know," Burt choked out, his heart racing fast against his chest. "Kurt, can you hear me? What's wrong?"

"Dad, B-Blaine is... he's-"

"Oh god-"

"He's awake, dad. Blaine woke up!"

Burt shook his hand out of Carole's grasp and pressed it to his heart, his eyes watering quickly as he took in what Kurt had just told him. "Blaine's awake," he whispered, a small smile spreading across his face as Carole breathed, "Oh my god."

"Cooper just called me a-and he said Blaine's awake."

"Oh, Kurt, that's great."

"I'm going to the hospital to see him, dad."

"You'd better."

"I-I just... I'm just so happy."

Burt smiled wider, dropping his hand from his chest to clutch at Carole's. "I'm so glad he's awake, Kurt. I hope everything's alright with him."

"Me too. Cooper didn't say much, but he sounded happy."

"I bet the entire Anderson family is glad. You better send them our love, okay? Carole and I will stop by the hospital as soon as we can."

A set of sniffles could be heard from Kurt and Burt closed his eyes in relief, thankful that the news he was receiving was on the good end for once... even though he had yet to find out how Blaine was doing, despite the fact that the boy was awake. Blaine might've been conscious, but he did have a long road ahead of him.

"I'll call you guys later," Kurt mumbled, his voice still quiet and scratchy. Burt listened as his son bid his goodbyes and once he said his, he hung up the phone, turning back to his teary-eyed wife. Carole immediately latched to his side, kissing his lips as she wept against him.

"God, Burt, I was so scared."

"Me too, Care. I didn't know what I was going to hear when I picked up the phone, especially since Kurt was cryin' that hard. Scared the _hell_ out of me."

Carole nuzzled into her husband's shoulder, Burt breathing in her hair as she laid her head against him. "I just hope that he doesn't get let down when he heads into the hospital. Head traumas are touchy things and Blaine was out for longer than a week... there's bound to be some damage."

"I don't even know if I want to think about it."

"Well you should... if Kurt gets there and Blaine has some brain damage, Kurt's going to feel _awful_ and we've got to be there for him no matter what. I know you haven't had the experience with brain injuries like I have, but we may need to be in for the long haul depending on what Kurt finds out today."

"I know."

"I mean, he could wake up and have a speech impediment or nerve damage in his limbs. He could have something even worse, we just won't know until they run tests and Kurt or the Andersons let us in on what's going on, but no matter what, we're going to be needed to support both Kurt _and_ Blaine. I just want you to know that."

Burt nodded and wrapped his arms around his wife, "You're amazing, did you know that?"

"The same could be said for you. Now do you want some breakfast? I really don't think I can go back to sleep after all this."

::

Kurt stared up at the looming building ahead of him: _Westerville General Hospital_.

He had been there every single day since the second he landed in Ohio and not once had he been more terrified about seeing Blaine than he was now; he wasn't even this scared to see his ex when he first arrived and was about to see the damage those thugs had done to him. Because this was completely different, this time he was going to see Blaine _awake_ and for once, he was going to see exactly _what_ kind of damage those assholes had dealt to the boy he loved.

Sucking in a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and started out of the parking lot, his eyes darting from corner to corner as his stomach churned in anticipation.

He was going to see Blaine. He was going to be able to talk to Blaine and actually have Blaine look at him and listen to him.

Well, _hopefully_...

There was something absolutely terrifying about the possibility that Blaine could have some sort of brain damage. When Kurt had first heard about Blaine being in the hospital and the reason behind it, all he could think of was the struggles Blaine dealt with as the aftermath of his previous attack. Kurt had seen first hand the problems that Blaine dealt with: the way his hands would just stiffen up on him sometimes or the way they would just unlock and the things held in them would fall to the floor... or how Blaine would sometimes rapidly blink his eyes in order to see because things went a little blurry for a second.

Kurt could just hope that he wouldn't have to deal with such awful side effects this time around. He wasn't sure his heart could take it if Blaine were more broken this time around than the last.

::

"Hey, Kurt. I'm glad you came."

"Like I'd not show up," Kurt murmured into Cooper's arms as he leaned in for a hug. The older man squeezing him tight looked absolutely exhausted, his usually perfect hair unkempt and his face sporting a five-o-clock shadow.

"Well, I know you're wanting to go in and see Blaine as soon as possible, but we need to go over some things first."

"Why? What did they find? Is he okay? What's wrong-"

"Whoa, whoa, bud, calm down." Cooper stepped back and placed two steady hands on Kurt's shoulders, turning the boy towards one of the waiting room chairs. "Sit."

"Oh god, you're having me sit down... something's wrong."

Coop rolled his eyes, "Shh and sit, Kurt. And quit jumping to conclusions! I haven't even spoken a word about Blaine yet and you're already freaking out."

Kurt pressed his hands to his face and sighed, "How can I not be freaking out? The last time I saw Blaine up and awake, he was crying because I was breaking his heart and now I'm about to go in and see him after he was brutally gay-bashed and I don't know if he'll be able to even see me or talk to me or anything!"

"You won't be doing him any favors going in looking like you're about to have a nervous breakdown though. If you can just calm down and take a few deep breaths, I'll take you in there, but first, we have to talk."

Kurt nodded and turned to look up at Cooper, his eyes widening when he actually took a good look at the guy. If anything Cooper Anderson looked like he had aged at least ten years since the day he arrived back in Ohio. It was like the man who came and taught the glee club some acting skills was a completely different person compared to the man sitting before Kurt now. He looked haggard and sad and it broke Kurt's heart to see.

He wondered if the people who hurt Blaine looked the same.

"Hey, you okay?" Cooper's voice snapped Kurt out of his thoughts and he blinked slowly, nodding when Cooper quit snapping his fingers in his face. "You know what... I'm just gonna take you down there before you zone out even more. You're really starting to freak me out."

"I'm fine."

"You're not, but maybe you'll feel a little bit better once you've seen Blaine." Both men walked down the hall, Kurt hanging back as Cooper walked ahead of him, slow and steady. "I've gotta warn ya. I think my dad might be hanging around in the room. My mom offered to leave once we get down there; she and my dad need to talk or something, so you shouldn't have any problems. I don't think he'll be starting anything today, but if he does, I've got your back, okay?"

"Okay."

"Well," Cooper said softly, one hand reaching out to grab the door handle to Blaine's room. "Here we go."

They stepped into the room.

::

Maria glanced up from her place next to Blaine's bed when the door opened. She had been holding her son's hand for hours now, ever since the boy's eyes flickered open and she found him staring up at the ceiling.

"_Blaine, oh my god, my sweet baby." She had cried out, waking Cooper from his slumber in the chair across the room. Blaine's gaze darted over to where Cooper was before it came back to his mom and Maria immediately burst into tears. "Oh sweetheart."_

_However, she couldn't help but notice the way Blaine's hazel eyes looked unfocused as he tried to watch her._

"Kurt, you came."

Kurt stepped forward, his heart racing against his ribcage as he walked further into the room and closer to Blaine's bed. Blaine was awake, his eyes staring up at the wall, long lashes framing his yellowed, slightly bruised eyelids. When Kurt saw how gaunt his ex looked, he gasped softly and Blaine's eyelashes fell shut.

"Oh Blaine," Kurt rasped as he rushed towards the bed and placed his hand on his ex's thigh. He leaned down and kissed the top of Blaine's head, smoothing back the curls that framed his forehead. As soon as his hand brushed Blaine's scalp, the other boy's eyes blinked open, the golden hazel lazily staring up into Kurt's swirling blue-grey. "I'm so glad you're awake."

Blaine lay still beneath him, his gaze still focusing on Kurt's face, but barely. It looked slightly off. Kurt ran his hand along Blaine's cheekbone and frowned. Something was wrong with the way Blaine was looking at him.

"Blaine, honey? What is it?"

Maria reached out, brushing her hand against Kurt's forearm, "He hasn't been speaking, Kurt."

"What? Why?"

"They're coming to get him for some scans soon. The doctor just left right before you and Cooper got here. They're- they're um... worried about his speech... a-and his eyesight."

Kurt's heart dropped; he looked down at Blaine and felt the bile rise in his throat when he noticed how lethargic the boy seemed. Blaine's eyes were heavy-lidded and unfocused, his mouth open and slack-jawed as he took soft, airy breaths. "Oh god," he whimpered, running his fingers along Blaine's scalp again. "Oh god, Blaine." He turned to Maria, his face still frozen in disbelief. "But what if- we- we still don't know if this is permanent. He- he could just be more exhausted than we thought and maybe he'll feel better after he's had a little bit more rest or something. I-"

"Kurt, honey. It's better if we don't deny the fact that Blaine may be-"

"How can you just sit there and think that? How can you sit there and believe that something's wrong?" Kurt cried. He ran the heel of his palm under his eyes and looked back down at Blaine, his tears only increasing when he felt Blaine's cheek rest against his other hand, the soft fluttering of Blaine's lashes batting against his fingers. "He's going to be okay!"

"Kurt, please-"

"No, no I can't... I can't-" Kurt pulled away from the bed and darted out of the reach of both Cooper and Maria, turning and running out of the room as fast as he could. He ran down the hall and continued running until he reached an empty family waiting room, his body collapsing in exhaustion as soon as he stepped into the room. "He's not damaged. He's not," he continuously repeated to himself, his body rocking back and forth as he cried.

"He's not."

::

Cooper stared at the open door in shock. He honestly wasn't expecting Kurt to just disappear like that, especially since the boy seemed so strong over the last few weeks, but it seemed Kurt was more fragile than he thought. Ever since Kurt came to the hospital that first day, he had been like a rock, always sitting vigil beside Blaine's bed, occasionally taking over while the Andersons dealt with their own business. Kurt had been there as much as he could and he did his best to keep the family from exploding around him. When tensions got high, he'd bring Coop and Maria some coffee or some food or he'd sit down and talk to one of them about the funny things Blaine did in high school. But now, upon seeing that his ex-boyfriend may or may not be brain damaged, it was like someone had taken a sledgehammer to some glass and now Kurt was an emotional wreck.

Of course, he wasn't the only one.

Sighing, Cooper walked over to his mother and enveloped her in a bear hug. As soon as Kurt fled the room, Maria had burst into tears, sobbing to herself in Tagalog as she wept in heartbreak over what was happening. It had broken Cooper's heart to see his mother so upset, especially since she had been so excited earlier that morning when Blaine had finally opened his eyes for the first time in weeks, but he knew she was hoping Kurt wouldn't be scared off by Blaine's injuries. And when Kurt broke down and ran, it was like he had taken Maria's heart with him.

Slowly rubbing his mother's back as he held her against him, Cooper allowed his gaze to dart down to his brother. Blaine lay sleeping in his bed, his bruised eyes closed, still looking so peaceful despite the turmoil that swirled around him. He was only a kid and yet he had endured so much throughout his young life, so much more than anyone Cooper had ever known and as a big brother, Cooper couldn't help but feel powerless in the fact that he couldn't do anything to help his baby brother out.

Honestly, he knew all he could really do was be there for him because if Blaine's silence told him anything, he and his family were in for a lot of work over the next few months... but it wasn't like he hadn't dealt with this before, which disgusted him to the core.

Releasing his mother, Cooper walked over to Blaine and sat down, taking his brother's hand within his own, "You're gonna get better, Blainey. You're going to get better and sing and dance and talk up a storm and tell me thousands of stories like you did when you were little and I'm gonna enjoy every single minute of it, I promise. I promise, Blaine. I swear." He brought his brother's hand to his face and kissed Blaine's knuckles, leaning his nose against the cold fingertips. "You'll get better. You will."

::

**April 2012**

"_Blaine? Blaine, honey, wake up!"_

_Kurt straddled his boyfriend, his hands gripping Blaine's shoulders as he struggled to calm the other boy down. Just seconds before, Blaine had started screaming in his sleep, scaring the living daylights out of Kurt when the silence he had been sleeping to had turned to complete terror._

"_Blaine! Blaine, wake up! Wake up, honey, please!"_

_Blaine yelled, his body arching as he jerked against Kurt's restraint. His jaw clenched and Kurt whimpered, his own body trembling when he noticed the pain etched across Blaine's sleeping face. Whatever this nightmare was that Blaine was having, it was an awful one and Kurt was terrified to think that he knew what it was all about._

_Because if all the groaning and crying Blaine was doing in his sleep was any sort of indication, Kurt's boyfriend was having a nightmare about the beating he received at the Sadie Hawkins dance just a couple years before._

"_Blaine, honey? Please wake up. Please!"_

_Kurt curled his form around Blaine, his arms wrapped around the other boy's chest as he held him tightly. Blaine sobbed against him, still not yet woken from his sleep and the tighter Kurt held him, the more he cried and whimpered, his shaking slowly calming as Kurt hummed in his ear._

_It took several minutes to calm Blaine down, but finally Kurt had soothed him enough and the boy's tense body sagged against him. Kurt cried in relief, his lips peppering kisses along Blaine's hairline as he rocked him back and forth. "Thank god," Kurt breathed, nestling his cheek against his boyfriend's hair. He closed his eyes and pulled Blaine closer, humming low as he snuggled the two of them back into their cocoon of blankets._

_He continued to hum but stopped when he felt Blaine turn in his arms and cuddle against his chest, "Blaine?"_

"_Kurt?" Blaine whimpered. Kurt pulled away and looked down at his boyfriend, taking in the broken look on his love's face as Blaine began to weep._

"_Oh honey, no. Don't cry."_

"_I could feel them, Kurt. I could f-feel them kicking me and h-hitting me. It w-was like that n-night all over again."_

_You mean the Sadie Hawkins dance? _

_Blaine sobbed and Kurt enveloped him in his arms, You're safe now, sweetheart. You're okay._

"_I should be over this," Blaine said, his voice muffled against Kurt's t-shirt. "It's b-been years and I still have nightmares."_

"_You suffered a lot, honey. Sometimes things haunt you; it's not your fault that you had a nightmare."_

"_I don't want it to happen anymore. I'm so scared it'll happen again. I- I was so scared that night, Kurt. I was so scared."_

"_Oh honey." Kurt tugged Blaine closer and held him as he cried. "You're okay. You're safe. I've got you."_

::

_I've got you._

Kurt stood outside Blaine's room, his hands wringing themselves together as he chewed on his lip and debated on whether or not to enter the room. Cooper and Maria had left long before, heading on down to the cafeteria for lunch and now Blaine was alone in his room, back from his testing and resting peacefully. Cooper had come to let Kurt know that they were leaving and that he could have a moment alone with Blaine if he wanted and it had taken him several minutes to just build up the courage to even leave the waiting room.

But now, here he was, standing outside the room he had been in so many times before... except this time things were incredibly different – Blaine was inside, _awake_, and maybe wanting to see him. _Maybe_.

Squaring his shoulders, Kurt took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping inside as quietly as he could just in case Blaine was asleep. He looked over at the bed and bit his lip when he saw Blaine's still form resting in the middle of that massive hospital bed. He just looked so frail in the dim light and his bruises and injuries seemed so much more pronounced; just studying him from several feet away made flames of anger flicker behind Kurt's eyes.

He would never, ever understand why someone would want to harm an innocent person so badly.

Several minutes later, Kurt finally took the plunge and walked over to Blaine's bed, settling himself down in the chair next to it. He took Blaine's uninjured hand within his own and stroked the smooth skin of Blaine's palm. Blaine slept on peacefully beside him, occasionally squeezing Kurt's fingers within his own as he breathed in and out, the tender reassurement making Kurt's heart swell with each squeeze.

"I love you so much, you know?" Kurt murmured as he swiped his thumb over Blaine's knuckles. "I never wanted this to happen... it's all my fault. If I just would've been stronger, if I just didn't give up so easily, this would have never happened. You wouldn't be here and you'd be safe and at home and- and I'm so sorry, Blaine. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry I caused all of this. I'm so sorry."

Blaine's lashes fluttered, but his eyes did not open. The only noise he made was a soft little snore and Kurt shuddered, his body leaning forward against the bed as he began to sob. He held Blaine's hand closer to his heart and continued to apologize through his tears, hoping that despite his slumber, Blaine could hear him and understand how sorry he was that this even happened.

Because he promised Blaine, he promised him that he'd never say goodbye and yet he did. He promised him he'd always be there and yet he wasn't... and he told Blaine that no matter what, he'd protect him. _I've got you. _But this time he didn't and now Blaine was hurt, probably permanently, and seeing him today only cemented in Kurt's mind that this was _all his fault_.

* * *

A/N: Alrighty, so Blaine's awake and Kurt's fallen right back into blaming himself. Some of you may think that it's getting old that he's still playing the blame game, but honestly, how could he not? I know that if I was in his shoes, I would be heartbroken for my ex if something like this happened following a break-up that I initiated. I would be just like Kurt... wouldn't you all be the same?

Anyway, thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I'm glad you liked it and I hope you liked this one as well. I must remind you all that I am no doctor and the closest thing I've ever gotten to being around a brain injury (and all the other things that's happened to Blaine) has been when my little brother was little and he had epilepsy and one time fell and hit his head and was in the hospital for the longest time suffering seizures (believe me, it was scary as hell and as a five year old back then - god, almost 20 years ago, I can remember more of that hospital visit than any other I've dealt with in my life.) Also, a year or two ago my family thought I had a stroke and that was pretty crazy, but that's the closest I've ever gotten to medical business that has to do with the brain. However, I'm doing some research and hopefully I don't screw up this story... but if you have any suggestions based on what I've written so far about Blaine's injuries, please send me a message on here or my tumblr. I'd greatly appreciate it (same goes for if I end up screwing up anything in the next chapter because next we'll learn more about what's going on with Blaine and we'll see more Klaine interaction!) Thanks for reading!


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